Going...Going...Gone

Poem of the Day

TIME

Time marches on
leaving me in a depression of the mind
yearning for home and the friendship
of others.

Many years have I floated
without anchor
searching, seeking,
yet another home.

Unsatisfied with self and others
living in discomfort
waiting for parole
of the soul.

Poetry

All the poems on this sight are written by me and based on my life experiences. I enjoy writing and have found poetry to be an outlet for my creativity. I am also an amateur photographer and have dabbled in children’s stories and non-fiction as well. I hope these poems are enjoyed, but if not; you can't please everyone all the time. It's ok with me.

We attended a Pacers game last night and the whole family enjoyed it.

On the way to the grocery store a little while ago my daughter and I saw something very different. It looked funny, odd, out of place, unusual; whatever you want to call it. We saw a bicycle coming toward us. It was low to the ground and my daughter said, "Ok look, it's a three-wheeler." She paused a moment and then said, "And a fat man." Now, I'm not just talking slightly over-weight, not just pudgy, not just rather large, I'm talking way too big for that bicycle (tricycle)! I truly appreciate the fact the man was getting some exercise and I would never laugh to hurt someone else, but this was some sight to see. The peddles extended so far forward that he appeared to be peddling by tippy-toeing and every time he peddled, his pant leg would go far up his leg because; well I don't know why, but with each pedal one pant leg would go up and then the other. He was too large for the seat and hung out on each side and he had the seat so inclined (the seat looked like a chair) that he looked like he was peddling lying down. His stomach nearly touched the handle-bars and he had on black socks and sandals. The last time I looked in my rear view mirror, he was mobeling up the street; pant leg up and pant leg down.

All is quiet with son for the moment. That means I better get ready for something to happen. It always does after a brief moment of quiet.

Poem of the Day

OLD AGE

As I look into the weathered face
and see the lines of time
sadness overwhelms my soul.
Did you grow old with grace
or do you feel out of place
now that youth has passed away?
And I see the memories there
the eyes that stare
into a past worth more than gold.
And the you that once was
so vital, so bold
placed away in a drawer
reserved for the old.

Stuff

I had the ba geebies(sp?) scared out of me yesterday. While driving out to the school where my student teachers are, I have to cross several railroad tracks. I'm clipping along at a good pace and right when I'm getting ready to go across the tracks, the crossing lights come on. I look to the right and the train is coming and coming fast. I just punched it and got across. My heart was beating 90 miles a minuet! Anyway, I made it and am here to tell the story.

My student teachers are doing great. They will be an asset to any school they're hired at. Only one is hoping to teach somewhere in Terre Haute. The rest are going elsewhere. I am really enjoying my job. I get to go out to the school, teach, and see grade school kids at the same time. And....it's just one day a week. For what I'm paid, you can't beat it!

We're going to a Pacers game tomorrow. That will be fun. Last weekend we went to Evansville and then on into Kentucky. I had not been to Kentucky, so that was nice.

Son has been quiet for this week. He had his English final this tri-mester and made an A after having made a F last tri-mester for an average of a D. Anyway, he passed. Now, just to get him to pass everything so he can graduate.

I'm just rambling now, so I'll get out of here.

Poem of the Day

GET ON WITH IT

In times like these
When life brings you to your knees
And your space isn't a friendly place to be
Lift your head high, stifle your sigh
And get on with it.

When it's called for, ignore all the ills in life
The silliness and petty strife
The false friends and all their hype
With eyes on your dream, stifle your scream
And get on with it.

Rejection is but a step in time
Don't let it clutter or cloud your mind
All have endured this pitiful plight
Put it behind you, get on with life.

You've much to offer and much to receive
Be glad for the moment, you have a reprieve
Someday soon your grief will rescind
your hurt pride will be on the mend.

Your walk in life is what you make it
don't pretend and never fake it
The path you choose, the steps you take
Will help you avoid many mistakes.

So lift your head and don't look back
Living can suck and that's a fact
Life is full of unanswered questions
And always teaching difficult lessons

The long and short of what I say
Is it's ok, there'll be better days
Don't give in, don't cloud your mind
Cause in the end, you'll be just fine.

Quiet for Awhile

Son starts counseling in March. When I made the appointment they asked for his probation officer. Thank goodness he doesn't have one.....yet! They were surprised he didn't have one, but that's good, isn't it?

Not too much is going on at this point, so...I'll write more when there is. It's nice to have a break after weeks of trouble.

Update

Today was my daughters 19th birthday. I take her out to lunch and on the way back witness a wreck. I had heard what airbags can do to you, but witnessed first hand what actually happens. The lady in the red car is turning left. At the same time a black car with a 19 year old girl is going west. The black car has the right-of-way and the red car smacks right into her and hits the left front of her car right at the wheel. Her tire blows out and knocks her around. Her airbag doesn't deploy, but the lady who hit her (red car) airbag does. The whole front of her blouse was scorched and she was smoking when she stubmbled from the car. It burned through her blouse, bra and all the way to her skin. She's crying. The 19 year old is trying not to cry and calls her mom. The car in front of us and my daughter and I are the only cars on the scene. We stop and are standing there like idiots not knowing what to do. There is no blood, but both people were knocked around a lot. The red car is totaled and the rediator is leaking everywhere. A nurse stops and begins to minister first-aid and we call 911. The traffic is blocked for miles in all directions. Some guy gets out and begins directing traffic. Finally 3 fire trucks, an ambulance, 2 wreckers and a cop show up. Statements are given, victims taken to the hospital and we finally all go on our way.

What an end to a birthday lunch!!!!

Quick Update

Waiting for us in Friday's mail were two notices from Son's High School that he has 2 after-school detentions for skipping 3rd hour and a letter stating the total amount to be paid in his shoplifting spree. His little shopping spree will cost him $312 dollars. He'll be spending the next two Monday's in after-school detention and he's also informed us there will be a third letter coming for the same thing. He told his sister who told his other sister who told me that he is trying to get kicked out of school. That's really silly because he had enough credits to graduate in November and didn't want to.

He'll be going to intensive outpatient counseling as soon as it's scheduled, but of course, his detention will occur on the days he's supposed to be going to counseling. He doesn't know this is going to happen yet, but I don't think he will go and then....what?

Life.....

Poem of the Day

Two years old; diaper creakin’
runnin’ around; hidin’, seekin’.
Next comes three and all that shriekin’
chocolate milk, hey my diapers leakin’!
Five’s a big time in your life
an only child; dad’s got a wife
brothers; sisters now abound
step-mom’s tummy, getting’ round.
Life moves on I’m fifteen now
playin’ basketball; hey, that’s a foul!
Time will tell what I’ll become
educated or a bum.

Someone Else's Child

It's hard. It's hard to raise someone else's child and the younger you get them, the harder it is. You're given the responsibilities of a parent, but you don't have the legality of a parent. You wipe the noses and dry the tears and are the first attacked by both the child and their parent for anything that goes wrong.

I've known my step-son since he was two and have been actively involved in his life since he was four. He's 17 now. Consenting to becoming a step-parent is one decision that should be considered very carefully! Few people consider this when deciding to marry. You are not just marrying the person, but any children they have as well. And, the same goes for them.

When children come from a divorced home and their parent remarries, the children learn very quickly how to play a game I call the Divorce Game. This game consists of the child or children playing parent against parent or parent against step-parent. The child wins much of the time. Even when you're onto their game, there is a tendency to recognize it in the spouse’s child more often than in your own and, vice-versa.

This game never ends if all parents involved don't stop the game the child is playing immediately! It has to be a team effort between natural parents and step-parents. Children will involve grandparents in this game too and then all hell breaks loose. When the child is allowed to play this game, the step-parent is the first to go down. All is blamed on them, they become a wicked step-parent out to do the precious child harm and it doesn't matter how old that child is either.

There are some wicked step-parents just as there are some wicked natural parents. Most of the time however, this just is not the case. I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that you cannot be asked to step into the absent parents shoes for tears and scraped knees and illness and love and care and be told to back off when the child needs discipline. Neither can you ask someone else to do that.

I've been the mother for 13 years. I've taken care of the asthma, sickness, tears, scrapes, and everything else that goes along with being a mother. However, I have not been allowed to go beyond that. I've been there for all this time, but I'm not a legal guardian. In the end, Dad makes the decisions whether I agree or not. I have been hit, kicked, called a slut, bitch, whore, yelled at numerous times that, "You're not my mom," and run over by both child and husband because the boy is not mine. I have been told that it's blood that counts.

On the other hand, I have not been granted the same consideration with my own children. My son was not allowed by step-dad to eat his own birthday cake because step-dad decided he didn't deserve it for sassing me, yet he watched and listened while his son called me a bitch and whore, told me he wished I'd die, and dad did absolutely noting.

There has been such an unfair balance between step and real that at times, it has almost been the undoing of the marriage. This even extends to "our" daughter, my husbands and mine. Even though she is his natural child, even she has had to prove what she has accused her big brother of doing to her. I might add that big brother is 6 years older than little sister. I have come to learn over all this time that dad will do nothing to son, but much to everyone else.

Well, to say the least, it's a burden. Step-son has turned out to be so much more than I bargained for when I looked into his little face and he asked; "Can I call you mudder?" I have loved him like my own, but have not been allowed to treat or discipline him like my own.

My children, and I have 4 natural, are all upstanding citizens holding down good jobs. My last is still at home, but I have no doubt she too will grow up to do the same because she has me. She has some of the same innate traits that her brother has, but she has me to balance them out. And, guess what, dad doesn't interfere. It's only son that he seems to have an unnatural obsession about. He just can't say no to him and expects nothing from him in the way of behavior or really, anything else. He says nothing would have worked with Son. I say POOH.....

Only by working together for the good of all and the by the grace of God can a mixed family become a true family. You have to be willing to stay in it for the long haul because of your love for all involved.

Quick Update

The evaluation arrived in the mail today on Son. He scored above the norm in 8 out of 10 domains. It was recommended that he enroll in an Intensive Outpatient Program. He would be going for counseling 4 out of 5 days with a parent going one of those days with him. His dad wants to speak with the counselor we talked to earlier before he schedules an appointment. Why, I don't know. I'll find out later.

More Later

Poem of the Day

JUST WHAT YOU GET

You deserve just what you get
After all it was your stupidness
Your self-absorption and selfishness
That put us all in this nasty mess
When something’s done for selfish reason
Those once for you, are inclined toward treason
And then your arrogance kicks right in
And you go on to a brand, new sin
This script is growing very old
And how often have you been told
To think of others before yourself
Or you’ll be sitting, alone on a shelf
I don’t expect you to hear a word
Anything I say is described, absurd
Once again you’ve gone too far
making things, extremely hard
for yourself and others too
but of course, that’s real old news.

WILL OUR LIVES

Will our lives return to normal
If they ever were
Or will our lives continue to spiral
Always in a stir
Will a time come when all is quiet
If it ever was
Will our lives be full of joy
Instead of in a fuzz
Will the burdens of this time
Evaporate like dew
Or will we always live in strife
That fits us like a shoe
It seems of late, that’s all I’ve known
Perhaps it always was
Turmoil falling down on us
cascading from above.

Well.....

I go to the store today and as I'm putting groceries in the cart, I begin to worry about how much to spend because I know we're going to have to foot the $300 my son owes for his shoplifting spree. I begin to feel a little angry about the whole situation.

I go home and he's still in bed. It's 3:30. My daughter told me earlier that she can't find the peanut butter. Can you guess where it was? In Son's room. This ticks me off even further because I have told him not to eat in his room because he trashes the whole room with food and drink. Ok, so he takes a shower and then does the other thing that made me even angrier, he left without letting me know where he was going.

Now, over the past 2 days, I've been thinking about his last little incident with the shoplifting. I'm over the sadness of what he's done and what he's doing and I've been thinking how he manipulated the situation until we all felt so sorry for the drug abusing, fibbing, disrespectful boy. Oh how sad, he has problems and is depressed. He didn't make the basketball team so his whole life has ended and nothing else matters. Dad will help him any way he can to get what he wants even paying for him to go to another college when he can go to his dad's the first 2 years for free. (My daughter is moving back home next year and she has been told that we won't pay for her because she can go for another year free too.) I told hubby that if one could go where they wanted and we'd pay, so would the other.

Ok, so now I'm really hot! By the time hubby gets home I'm burning on the inside. However, I did not let hubby know that. I told him I was tired of Son and would be glad when he left, that the past 13 years had been spent on Son and all the things he had done and that the other kids had been short-changed. (We have a daughter in middle school and she has a GPA of 3.75 and scored an excellent in voice competition. Did she get anything for that? NO, not as of this writing.) When Son didn't make the basketball team, Daddy bought him a membership at the Sports Complex and gave him $100. Daughter wants to know why brother can make F's, steal, lie, take drugs and get $100 and a membership. I'd like to know too, why can he?

Anyway, I told hubby I still want to help Son to get off drugs, that I love him as much as I ever did, but when he turns 18, he's was out if he has not stopped all his stuff and if he couldn't take that, he would just have to do whatever. I am through and I mean it. I am not going to spend my life bailing out someone who does not appreciate nor care about what's done for him. My mother did that with my brother and still does. He is 45 now and getting him out of trouble has cost her, her security in old age. I won't do that. My husband's nephew acted the same way and his mom still buys him cars and has always paid to get him out of trouble and he's now 40 years old!

I told hubby it was more than time our last child reaped some benefits of her good behavior and I would personally kick son out when he came of age if things had not changed. I went through this with my brother. I don't believe in bailing out rude, self-indulgent, disrespectful, and sometimes violent people for all their life whether I love them or not. If they cared about the family, they would stop their idiotic behavior.

Son thinks I am stupid or something. He keeps sneaking out at night, and comes back later. He thinks I don't know this. I'm going to be sitting on his bed one night when he comes in waiting. I've also decided that if he will not quit taking food into his room then I am going to begin hocking his things to get the money to pay for cleaning the rug or he will not receive his allowance until he pays for it. Enough is enough!!!!!!

SO THERE!!!!!!!

Update

Son was caught shoplifting Valentine evening; this of course, after I had given him $35 to buy his girlfriend something. He had a CD and some pens. He tried to get away and they cuffed him. They didn't press charges, but applied something called Civil Demand.

In the State of Indiana, if a person is caught shoplifting (class D felony theft or conversion) a pack of gum, then the Indiana Code requires that person to pay the retailer $300.00 minimum. If the amount of items stolen is more than $300.00, then the shoplifter may be required to pay up to three times the actual amount of damages incurred. This includes hourly wages, court time, attorney's fees, mileage, medical / miscellaneous expenses and the value of the merchandise stolen! The retailer does not even have to prosecute the crime! Most retailers do not prosecute for fear of civil liability. All one must do is send a letter which states the current law for that state and collect the funds! If the subject fails to respond, then a body attachment warrant will be issued. Normally the bond for this arrest is the amount due.

This is called civil demand. This "fee" is meant to pay for the security staff and equipment, but normally is only added to the profit margin of the company. Most "Loss Prevention" personnel are seen as a liability to most large corporation store managers. This is because large corporations such as Wal-Mart or Macy's would rather lose an acceptable amount of inventory than face a potentially expensive lawsuit. When Inventory levels are extremely high, as with Wal-Mart, losing $3,000 per week is only a small drop in the bucket compared to the profit margin (the RICH'S in Atlanta sells $3,500 stain glass lamps measuring about 12 inches high!).

So, his little shoplifting spree will cost him $300 dollars. I am insisting that he pay the amount somehow. We've already paid $1500 to a lawyer for 1) him getting caught egging the D.A.s house and some other peoples, 2) being arrested for pointing a gun in a parking lot (it was a toy gun on Halloween). Then he stayed all night with a friend and got caught out past curfew.

He wants to move out before he graduates. He's asked us to sign for an apartment if he gets a job. His dad told him he would do that, but first he had to pay half the lawyers bill and the entire shoplifting bill, and go to counseling. I added that he would have to put the apartment in his name when he turned 18. I don't think there's much chance of him getting a job that will pay rent and everything else too. He'll be 18 in August so why can't he just wait.

Before all this was discussed, he implied that he would sell drugs to get money. I've told his dad over and over Son had way too much stuff for the small amount he was getting from us. He insisted Son was not stealing. I knew he was. He has blinders on about all this.

My son went through a stealing period at 13. I made him take the stuff back to the guy. He was lucky and the guy didn't press charges against him. It was hard to accomplish because he did this kind of stuff when he went to his dad's and hung out with his step-brothers. I finally told my ex that my son would not be going back if he didn't keep better watch than that. He was also letting him hang out with a 16 year old kid and allowing him to stay out past midnight. Ex said he let him because his step-brothers got to. We worked together and got him under control.

On the other hand, Son stole from the mall at age 11. I told him he needed to take the stuff back and face the consequences. His dad told him he would have to take it back but never made him. He told him he had to do all the housework and was grounded and blah, blah, blah, but never did anything about it nor would he let me. He just kept telling me this was "normal" boy stuff. POOH!!!!

Press forward 7 years and Son is now 17. Beginning at the age of 10 he skipped school and was picked up by the police. He choked a kid on the bus and was kicked off. He threw foil at the bus driver and was kicked off. He unlatched the bus driver’s seat belt while he was driving and was kicked off. He practically lived in detention. He kicked and hit me at the age of 11 and called me a bitch. At 12 he told me his dad was having an affair. At 14 he kicked at me again and tried to hit me. He threatened to kill his little sister who is 6 years younger than him in the middle of the night. Last year he called me a whore and a bitch in front of his dad. His dad and my husband did nothing. He's pounded his little sister and hit his dad. He calls his dad names. He calls his other sister a whore and bitch and has gone around school lying about her. He steals from his sisters. And in all of this, his dad has done nothing but make excuses for him. We've had him in counseling 2 different times and I recommended to his school counselor that she see him. My daughter had to get a job in her Senior year, but not Son.


Oh, it's just too much! I blame much of this on his dad because he would not discipline him nor has Son ever faced the consequences for his actions. I was not allowed to discipline him either. I've raised this boy from the age of 4, almost 5 and known him since he was 2. I was warned by others that his dad always blamed everyone else, that Son was never the one. My daughters and I just had to take it. I nearly left my husband over the one a year ago because he allowed Son to call me a whore and bitch and then told me it was a "blood thing", that's why he didn't do anything about it. I have not left because I love the kid and my husband and I just can't give up. I'm all Son has in the way of trying to teach him about anything. I finally told my husband that I was going to treat Son just like I had mine, that I would no longer listen to him and if he wanted to leave because of that to not let the door hit him in the rear on the way out. I have to do what is right for the boy (nearly a man) and should have all along. I just didn't see how though. Now, I don't care. Threats no longer have a hold over me. I've discussed this with Son and he knows and so does his dad.

I think his real mom is part of the problem. I don't have it figured out, but when Son was 11 he came to me and asked if it would hurt me if he had a relationship with his mom. I told him no. His mom didn't respond how he hoped she would though. She ignored him and somewhere in there he began taking it out on me. Also, he was the only child of 5 that was not biologically mine. He is also bi-racial being Caucasian and Filipino. He built all of this up in his mind such as, My real mom ignores me, I'm the only bi-racial kid in the family, I'm the only kid that doesn't belong to my step-mom, etc. Add to that no discipline from his dad and me not being allowed to discipline him for so many years, and what a combustible mixture you have!

More Later.

Poem of the Day

SHUT UP FOR AWHILE

Shut up with your stupid advice
You always think that you are right
I’m tired of hearing what you have to say
Always telling me I’m not ok.

The versus of your repetitive whine
Nearly drive me out of my mind
All you do is ridicule
You're really mean, just down right cruel.

The phrases of your monotonous song
Frequently invoke your favorite word, wrong
And embedded somewhere in all that crap
Is your version of any mishap.

So why don’t you just shut up for awhile
Everyone around here would surely smile
If for once you’d just be silent
Yet I don’t think you can be that pliant.


EMOTIONS

I put my heart within your hand
an unplanned invitation to my soul
and watched as you slowly squeezed it tight
with needless insanity and needless strife.

Accusing with unfounded blame
Accusations freely flowing
Never taking blame or responsibility
for the endless game.

Life with you is very difficult
emotions running rampant
injecting sarcasm and accusations
into every situation.

Trust, trust is all you mention
always creating undo tension
between yourself and everyone else
building a horrendous situation.

I fear you will always fail
building relationships to no avail
always encountering failing trust
as relationships wither to dust.


Fast Update

We took Son for his evaluation and drug test yesterday. The results won't be in for around a week and then they will make a recommendation as to whether he needs counseling or not and what type. He took it pretty well. He's focused on his girlfriend for now, his first real girlfriend and has asked for help in buying her something. He said he'd pay it back when he got a job, but that will have to be seen.

Hubby is smack in mid-life crisis and am at my wits end. He is not suited with his job and in all actuality, he has not been suited with any of his bosses in all the time I've known him. He wants to be the boss or under one as smart as or smarter than him. His IQ is 160 and he also scored the highest out of 350 students at the war college while there. He is very smart, but it causes him problems because he sees all the areas his superiors mess up. He has a 50 year insight according to the war college so he see's potential problems well in advance. It bugs him that others don't. He hates micro-managers. Since he can't make things go the way he wants at work, it makes him particularly obnoxious at home. Nothing can be said that he doesn't take in a negative manner.

More Later

Poem of the Day

TROUBLE

Life with its ups and downs
can bring you neatly to the ground.
Silently creeping, nary a sound
then all at once, trouble abounds


My Pillow!

Isn't it ironic that just the smallest of things can make you ever so happy? My pillow is the subject of this momentary moment of pleasure. My pillow; doesn't that have a nice ring? Why would a pillow make me so happy? For years I have been buying and discarding various items that were labeled "pillow", but I have come to know those labels lied and deceived! Oh yes, they had the shape of a pillow and the size of a pillow, in dimension, they appeared to be a pillow, but when I laid my head onto them, expecting the fluffiness to surround my tired neck and shoulders, I found myself emitting numerous sneezes because I was allergic to the feather pillow.

I bought another pillow. Again, I rested my weary head upon its supposed softness. This would not work either! Hard is the only way to describe this thing I was beginning to despise. I felt so forlorn, so alone! Wasn't there any pillow for me anywhere in the world? I was beginning to fear I would spend my life alone, all alone without the comfort of a soothing pillow at the end of a long day. But, alas! Prince Pillow has finally arrived. He was tucked way back in the pillow pile and joy of joys; he was on sale too. What a perfect match, one made in heaven.

Now at the end of a long, tiring day, pillow is there to meet me; to greet me. I lay down and its wonderful fluffiness surrounds my neck, head, and shoulders. I no longer wake with an aching neck. I no longer toss and turn all night lusting for another pillow. I will not have to search any longer for my desire, my pillow. It is mine at last! I fall asleep and stay asleep all night. Ahhhhh!

Poetry of Life

WELL, I’M TIRED NOW

Well, I’m tired now; think I’ll take a break
Take a little time, to mull over old mistakes
A tiny little minuet, won’t take up too much time
See if I can figure out, the answer to this rhyme
You know, I think I’ve seen it all, in fact I’ve done it too
Some of it you know, I might begin to rue
I’ve searched high and low, looking for the cue
But instead I find, I haven’t the slightest clue
My minutes almost up, I’m no further along
In finding all the answers, to this age old song
One more second lingers, until I must move on
This second in my life, is lasting way too long
So goodbye for now, I’ll see you once again
I think in my next minute, I’ll kinda just pretend
I have all the answers, I know everything
And if you believe that friend, you’ll believe anything.

Son

One thing all this mess has done is to get Son motivated to look for a part-time job. He's picked up applications and seems to be serious. Now all he has to understand is that he can't hand-pick his first job.

His room is spotless now and even if he doesn't say so, I don't see how he wouldn't feel better just to be in an organized atmosphere.

He's lost his social security card. I mentioned to him long ago he needed to apply for a new one. He's driving without his driver’s license and commits numerous other unlawful things each day. He doesn't come home from school each day until around 8p.m. even though his dad has told him repeatedly to let us know where he's at. Of course, even though Dad gripes about it, there are still no consequences for his actions. I mentioned to his dad tonight that if it really didn't matter to him whether he told us where he was or not, he should quit making such a fuss about it.

Some people can only learn through the "School of Hard Knocks" and Son is one such person. Step-mom is the only one who expects responsibility from him. I have four other kids and because they took what they were being taught have turned out responsible, upstanding people. Their dad and I retained a great friendship and even though we were divorced, worked together for our kids. I have not been able to do this with my step-son. I only hope in the end I'll have had some influence on him.

My husband and I have one daughter together and she has some inherent traits that correspond with her half-brother (Dad being the common factor) except I am able to help her work through the things she needs to. She used to be disorganized also and would not turn in her work. Her teacher and I spent 7 months working on the problem and now all her work is turned in and she has nearly straight A's, (a B+ in math). That was 2 years ago.

More to come later.

Another Quick Blog

Well, Son finally came home Sunday. He has not talked to any of us. He came because he's out of money; none for gas or lunch at school. I guess the situation is in a transitional stage now. He wants to become emancipated, but to do so in Indiana requires some stuff he doesn't have like:

(a) The juvenile court may emancipate a child under section 1(5) [IC 31-34-20-1(5)] of this chapter if the court finds that the child:

(1) wishes to be free from parental control and protection and no longer needs that control and protection;

(2) has sufficient money for the child's own support;

(3) understands the consequences of being free from parental control and protection; and

(4) has an acceptable plan for independent living.

(b) If the juvenile court partially or completely emancipates the child, the court shall specify the terms of the emancipation, which may include the following:

(1) Suspension of the parent's or guardian's duty to support the child. In this case the judgment of emancipation supersedes the support order of a court.

(2) Suspension of the following:

(A) The parent's or guardian's right to the control or custody of the child.

(B) The parent's right to the child's earnings.

(3) Empowering the child to consent to marriage.

(4) Empowering the child to consent to military enlistment.

(5) Empowering the child to consent to:

(A) medical;

(B) psychological;

(C) psychiatric;

(D) educational; or

(E) social services.

(6) Empowering the child to contract.

(7) Empowering the child to own property.

(c) An emancipated child remains subject to the following:

(1) IC 20-8.1-3 concerning compulsory school attendance.

(2) The continuing jurisdiction of the court.

He's 17 and the only job he had was when he was 12 and a newspaper boy. I don't think he's going to be emancipated.

We'll see how the drug test and evaluation goes and take it from there. He'll be 18 in not too many more months. Why can't he just behave for that long?

More to come later and next time, there will be a poem.

Quick Post

All heck broke loose last night! I had just written about my son when later in the day, he gets all mad because his dad asked him to turn down the TV. He begins to yell that the only reason he wants him to turn it down is because it's hip hop. Not true. A little later he left without telling anyone where he was going. He's been told over and over and asked over and over not to do that, to let someone know where he is going.

We had already decided to clean his room ourselves because it was horrible. He had soured milk in cups; food under his bed and in his closet, his dresser drawer was full of empty soda bottles. You name it and he had it in his room. He comes back in the middle of this and starts to throw a fit saying his dad never had tried to discipline him in all this time, why try now. He goes out to the trash, gets the bag we've sacked from his room and empties all that disgusting stuff right in the middle of his room. This really ticks his dad off and instead of making his son pick it up; he does and tells him to go live with his mom. Eventually, the argument became physical when my son shoved his dad. They scuffled around and thankfully, no one was hurt.

Now my husband is telling him he's had enough, he can go live with his mom. My son starts saying he doesn't want to live here anyway, that his dad has never done anything about the way he's (son) has behaved and why start now. Son is cussing and saying terrible things and so is his dad (except his dad didn't cuss.)

Last night ended with Son going to stay all night with a friend. We already had an appointment Thursday for a drug test, physical and emotional evaluation. Son says he does not want to live here. I don't know what is going to happen, but now my husband feels like he did something wrong. The way I see it, the only thing he did was to make threats he had no intention of carrying out (such as, Go live with your mother.) My son knows his dad doesn't do anything he threatens. Son says that is why he acts how he does because his dad has never gotten onto him and made it stick for anything.

Ah well. It was upsetting to say the least.

Poem of the Day

MAKE BELIEVE SON

Hey little boy, my make believe son
at our expense, you’re having fun
pulling this family, far apart
just like you’ve done, from the very start.

Even though I’ve given love
you go around and pull the plug
you distance yourself and won’t accept
give nothing back, except disrespect.

I think it’s time, you stopped with the flap
pulling dad in, is nothing but crap
playing him, till he chooses sides
while you stand by and snicker inside.

You’re hurting this family, in case you don’t know
and too self-involved to try to grow
it’s time to stop, step up to the plate
stop being so selfish before it’s too late.

Rock-Bottom

My step-son is sliding toward rock-bottom. I've know him since he was only two and raised him since 4 years old. I don't care that he's not mine, but he seems to. He's told me before that he's my make believe son because out of five kids he was the only one that was not mine. We've had him in counseling before, but there is a certain type of kid who can con the counselor into believing all is well when in fact, nothing is good. This son is such a kid. I've had him drug tested before. When warranted, I've investigated his room and car. I figure that as a parent, it is my responsibility to send my kids out into the world in the best shape I can; hopefully drug free, functioning, responsible, honest and ethical people. What they do after they leave me is up to them.

So, here we go again, but this time, it is worse in one sense. He's into drugs. I've taken 2 marijuana pipes from him. He's over-dosed on of all things, Dramamine, (it's supposed to cause hallucinations) he's taking over-the-counter cold medicine, (the effect of dextromethorphan) smoking, and most probably, stealing if what I found was any evidence. He's bringing illegal substances into my house and right or wrong, I'm not going to jail for what he's doing. He's very disrespectful and uncaring toward anyone but his friends and himself and is heavily into gangster hip hop, baggy pants, and long hair (so he can braid it like his favorite gangsta) He’s not into gangs that I know of (I snoop. He wants to act like he is though, to be cool.) In essence, he’s hood wanna-be. He's into a lot more, but it's depressing to go into all of it. Suffice to say that he becomes addicted easily and has many addictions.

In the past he's displayed violence toward his sister 6 years younger and toward me. He's been in trouble with the police and we've shelled money out for lawyers and such. He's in his last year of school and getting him through is like pulling teeth. He has an IQ of 160, but you wouldn't know it. His problems in school are not due to inability, but to lack of organization and caring if it gets done or not. He leaves his drug stuff out in plain sight even after I've told him I am making his business mine if he can't behave and will search his room. Why does he do this? My thoughts; 1) He’s stupid, 2) He thinks we're stupid; 3) He doesn't care. In truth, it's probably all three.

So, he comes in last Saturday saying he had paid $4 apiece for someone else’s depression pills. I do think and have always believed that he is truly depressed, much of it because he refuses to take responsibility for his own actions and silly choices. Every action has a consequence whether good or bad. He has not caught on. Now he wants us to take him to the doctor to get drugs for depression. I think going to the doctor again would be a good idea (he’s already been 2 or 3 times before.) His dad thinks he wants legal drugs so he can sell them. I don’t know.

Anyway, for years he has had few consequences for anything he's done. The one time he suffered a consequence, he straightened up for a long time, and at least he wasn't violent like before. Now the roof is going to crash in on his head because his dad finally thinks enough is enough. He came to this conclusion much later than I did; say like, 8 years later. Hopefully, it's not too late. Time will tell.

This may be a very simple view of life, but my observation is that there are only 2 ways to go in life, 2 actions, just two and that is; it either will or it won't. Think about it. You either graduate or you don't. You're marriage will either make it or it won't. Your job is what you want or it isn't. You take drugs or you don't. You can drink responsibly or you can't. Get it? Everything in-between is just working toward one of those points; leaning toward one or the other.

What does this view have to do with my son? Like I said, he either will, or he won't. I pray he will.

Poem of the Day

Sicily

"Such Dolce eyes", he said to me
I of course, asked what that be
"Sweet as sugar", was his reply
quietly then, escaped a sigh.

Anything you want, Senora is fine
said the Mafia boss, he could be mine
I was scared and pulled away
I'll save you for, another day.

Mt. Etna puffed her smoke
into the air, in one big huff
an awesome sight, one to behold
ancient and strong and very old.

And then of course, the umbrella girls
sitting on the roadside, selling their wares
soliciting men as they drove by
coming from Africa, it made me cry.

The lemons hung on shimmering trees
encased and hidden, by their leaves,
The ancient and new clung side by side
in Italy you know, nothing dies.

In one day I encountered B.C.
then went a little further and met A.D.
the kitty cat knew, Sicilian tongue
as I watched the setting, of a Mediterranean sun.

Much more I could describe
Italian wine is mighty fine,
Sicilian cuisine, there's none to compare
to find it in America is mighty rare.

I'd like to visit, go back again
to see the place where I made friends
casual friends, though they were
Itay has, an ancient allure.



Sicily or Sicilia
I loved Sicily! To visit an ancient country is something I think everyone should do. You come away with a different perspective of yourself, and your country. Before I went abroad, I always wondered why foreign countries seemed to dislike America so. But, after having been abroad and encountering first-hand the way some Americans behave, I don't wonder so much anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I love my country. My husband is in the military however, loving your country doesn't mean its individuals are perfect. We Americans are quite brash and brash has its proper place, but so does manners. What I observed is that we (as viewed by other countries) are rude and without manners; not necessarily as a nation, but as individuals. For example, we stayed in an Italian hotel with Italians and Americans. The Italians would come in quietly and close doors quietly and speak quietly and not turn on the TV. The Americans came in at 2 or 3 in the morning every morning, loudly banging doors, yelling and turning on their TV so loudly you could not go back to sleep. They didn't care that others might be asleep at that time. I'm not just talking about a group of Americans, but different groups that didn't know each other. There were a few like us, my husband and myself that thought of others, but we were few and far between.

Another example, while in the hotel bar, an Italian waitress and a customer were having some sort of disagreement. Of course, they spoke in their own language. My husband and I were there and at a different table, not far away was a large group of Americans. They began to yell, "Fight, fight, fight," and "Speak in English, we don't know what you're saying." I don't mind saying, it embarrassed me for our country. A few of us can have an ill effect on all of us.

It seems to me that not only do certain of us in America expect other cultures to adapt to our way while they are in America, but we also expect them to adapt to our ways and us when we are in their country. I think that's a little arrogant and saw it more than once. Many flaunted Sicily's customs and way of doing things. I saw many that were just plain rude and egotistical by anyone's standards.

Ah well, it opened my eyes. I don't believe that we as a country or individuals should be so arrogant as to discount or throw anything away we don't like or understand and cram our way down anyone’s throat, especially when we are guests in their country. I now know what it feels like to be in a strange country where it's hard to find someone who speaks your language or who can help you if need be. It's even hard to order at a restaurant if you don't speak the language and I don't.

I hope to go back someday to visit again. It was a beautiful country, with friendly people.


States I've Visited




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