Going...Going...Gone

Poem of the Day

RUN SILENT

Run ye silent, oh water o’er the land
and pass with mourning my heart from his hand
forever flowing in a never-ending stream
carrying with you lives frivolous dreams.

Traveling forward in an endless, jagged line
merging and joining until reaching brine
slow, then easy, swift or fast
carry with you my sad, broken past.

Now on eagle wings fill me with new love
encircling me like a soft, velvet glove
an open heart, a tender hand
where once sand shifted, let solid rock stand.

Go on! Flow forever, never run dry
soon twill be forgotten the wind blown sigh,
carried away on a wing and a prayer
then come new love, come if you dare.

I'm back! I feel much better now after nearly 10 days of taking antibiotics so,.... It snowed yesterday and was it beautiful! I love to watch the snow fall lazily down, down, down until it softly settles on your eyelashes or hair. And, if your a kid what greater joy is there than to stick your tongue out and catch that tiny bit of cold on the tip of your tongue. My dog liked it too. He went outside, sat down and looked up in the sky watching the flakes float effortlessly down. He was funny to watch. Sorry to say it was just a dusting of snow and has now, all melted away.

I've learned something new since I've been in Indiana. The weatherman has been talking about wooly worms. I now know what a wooly worm looks like. And, they say, if the wooly worm is white, it will be a light winter, but if it is black, it will be a hard winter. The wooly worms around here were black on each end and a lighter color in the middle. The weather man said that if you follow that theory, then winter will hit hard up front, slack off mid winter and end with a bang. They also watch the hornet’s nests. Hmmm, I didn't know they existed. I keep going around looking in the trees trying to spot my first hornets nest. They showed one on the news and the legend connected with the hornets nest centers around the height that the nest hangs from the ground; the higher up the tree, the more snow. The nest looked like this huge, gray, paper thing kind of shaped like a tear drop only rounder. I haven’t found one for myself yet, but I'll keep looking. Anyway, the nest was way up the tree. We'll see.

I'll be finishing the Poteau saga up soon. The 1 year anniversary of the dastardly deed perpetuated on us by that nasty place is coming up December 6th.

Until next time, Merry Christmas.

Poem of the Day

OKLAHOMA

Oklahoma sunshine, Oklahoma rain
Oklahoma wind whistlin' down the lane
Oklahoma cattle fed on Oklahoma grain
morals and values deeply ingrained.
Oklahoma crops in Oklahoma fields
Oklahoma sky, Oklahoma hills
Oklahoma people working with a will
tilled warm soil and oil drilled.
Oklahoma Indians quite aplenty.
Iron red dirt shinin' like a penny.
Cowboys, ranches, rodeos and cows,
tornado alley and powwows,
early morning grass wet with dew,
panoramic views, mountains too,
instill in the heart closeness to the land,
making life here Oklahoma grand.

I haven't blogged for awhile due to having two different types of infections at the same time, but some things have gone on. I had a birthday yesterday. We couldn't celebrate it because the "Carpentry for the Novice" class took the time away. The class lasts for 3.5 hours and you stand the whole time. We will have the pleasure of spending our anniversary there too.

It snowed a little yesterday, something I love and it was really cold too. My daughter sent me 3 beautiful red roses and I got cards and calls from all my kids except one and he hasn’t told anyone Happy Birthday for years. I am just crossing my fingers he will get through school. My other son's birthday is the 28th of this month and my anniversary is Dec. 2nd so there is a lot of celebrating going on.

Something that happened locally, the CANDLES Museum was set on fire by an arsonist and burned to the ground. The arsonist left a message painted across the building saying, "Remember Timmy McVeigh." The CANDLES Museum was started by a woman who survived the Jewish death camps in WWII. She and her sister were twins and it was due to this that they survived, although experiments were done on them both. Money is pouring in from many places to aid her in getting it started again. Not many of us have the problems this woman has faced in her life and life is so short; yet she holds no anger toward the person, only sadness.

Two or three weeks ago, a truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and wrecked on I-70. You'll never guess what was spilled all across the road unless it was in the national news. Anyway, he hit the guard rail and the truck went over spilling, (are you ready) animal fat all over both lanes! Boy, did it smell and when it hit the pavement it began to solidify. I-70 was backed up for miles and travelers had to detour through Terre Haute. The stuff was on the road for about a week and also in the river. Ugh.

Have a good day!

Poem of the Day

SHOES

Shoes, shoes, what would I do
without my lovely shoes!
They keep my little tootsies warm
They keep my feet real clean
They take me places I want to go
And don't you dare be mean
Cause if you do, my good old shoes
will go right after you
you haven’t a chance, they’ll kick your pants
they really are a dream!

My shoes! How I love them,
I’m hoping you do too
My shoes how I love them
I have more than a few
My shiny black, teach me to dance
The Nikes, for running fast
My stiletto heels give guys a thrill
They’re more than they can stand
And lest I forget, my Sunday best
The pumps go with my purple dress

But alas, my favorite pair
Will walk right over you
I guess you know, my boots kick ass
Don’t say you didn’t know.

And so goodbye, the time is right
It’s time for me to go
The next shoe trend is calling me
I’m off to look again
For the shoes that catch my eye
I fear there’ll be no end
But what the heck , I love the effect
Of all those new shoe trends!

Would anyone be interested in hiring a "Novice Carpenter" (that's my title, a novice carpenter) one that really knows how to jack up wood with my trusty hammer? My husband and I enrolled in a novice carpentry class. And such a mixture of people you've never seen!

Let's begin with Jesus pronounced Hey-seuss but who everyone calls Joe because we can't remember the pronunciation. Joe is 70 years old and from the Bronx in NYC. He was born in Puerto Rico. Joe has had a varied career. He apparently has had some "gang" experience as a youth because he often says, "I'll get you; and your mother too!" He says this is what the gangs said to each other when he was a kid. Joe joined the Air Force on the enlisted side and ended a 20 year career as a Master Sergeant. Joe's next career was as a hair stylist for 30 years. He says people with red hair and a lot of freckles have bad tempers, don't ever pull their hair! He also is a marshal arts expert and I bet in his day, was a lady's man. He's the life of the party!

Next we have Margaret. Margaret is somewhere in her late 50's. Margaret spits whenever she talks. Not that this makes her less likeable, I like Margaret. I just don't stand real close when she's talking. She doesn't talk much, but has a desire to actually do carpentry since she's worked in a carpenter’s office for 27 years. Margaret brought the right hammer to class. Everyone wanted her hammer. Margaret has a way of standing that makes her look like her knees are always bent. I never can tell if she's about to wilt, or if it's just the appearance of her pants at the knees. I think when she takes them off; they retain that perpetual bend in the knee.

Sean has piercings all over his face. He doesn't say much and I think, his mom drug him to the class. They made him run this gigantic saw last night and he really didn't want to, but was not pushy enough to say no. He is the best hammerer in the class.

Sean's mom Michelle lives in an old house that she is trying to remodel. She needs electrical help even though her husband was an electrician. Michelle says her husband didn't cotton to working with electricity around the house. Someone is going to have to tell her novice carpenters don't do electricity. I'm afraid she's still stuck without any electrical help.

Bill is a tall, lanky older man in his 60's. Bill messes with electricity, but has not offered any aid to Michelle. He has a scraggly beard and wants to know how to hang a door. He is a little afraid of that big saw I think, because he mentioned to me how powerful it was and how it jerked.

Rick is the instructor. He says his education is in music, but he grew up in the family business. He is kind of tall with quite a large belly and gets stuck on very long answers to any question. He feeds us well.

Tyson is a 23 year old carpenter. He's attended college and knows all kinds of things. I have my eye on him for my daughter.

Sean is another carpenter. He's 21. At first he was quiet, but now he talks a lot. He looks like Johnny Depp and I find myself wanting to tell him that. I have my eye on him for my daughter.

My husband wants to build a wall in the garage. He is very good at measuring and was the best measurer in class. He is not such a good hammerer or nailer, but hopefully that will come later.

Now we come to me. I am there because my husband wanted us to do something together. At least it wasn't football. (Hmmm we've already done that.) I can put almost anything together. I understand what we are doing. We are learning to frame a wall, hang a door and two windows. We will hang drywall, then mud and tape it. I understand the concepts; I just can't use the frickin hammer!

My husband hammered first. His nail fell out and he didn't hit it very hard, but he hit it. Then, he hands the hammer to me. I mean, I had to take it because all eyes were on me and I could see them thinking, "Oh, look, her husbands putting her on the spot. Will she take the hammer?" You bettcha I will! The frame is on top of this huge table and you have to hammer at a funny angle. I start the nail. I miss the nail. I hit it once or twice. I'm jacking the wood up. It's bashed with little, round hammer marks all over it. The nail is in crooked. I notice this and ask about it. Rick tells me to pull it out and shows everyone what to do when you've jacked up your nail. I can do this! I can do this! I repeat this over and over to myself. I rear the hammer back and BANG, I jack that nail up so bad it's poking out the top of the wood. I'm used again as an example of what to do when you jack up the nail and the wood. By this time, everyone is crowding in around me, encouraging me to hit that nail again saying "You're doing good." I stop and look at all the faces and say, "Have you guys gotten a good look at this jacked up piece of wood? Anyone want to hire a novice carpenter?"

Like I said, I understand the concept. I understand how to do it, but I think I'll hire a hammerer to hammer for me.

Till next time.

Poem of the Day

FIRST BORN

A woman stands before me
an exchange from then till now
the little girl I used to know
hidden there, somehow.

The eyes that stared so solemnly
when just a little child
now look at me imploringly
as if to ask me why.

No answers can I give her
No knowledge I posses
Nothing I could say
would ever pass this test.

The knowledge she is seeking
rests within my heart
my love for her abides
and never will depart.

I'm nothing but a woman
and yet, I've done my best
to teach this child of mine
the meaning of success.

To live your life for others
sacrificing self
true meaning of your character
displays its self in this.

And so the story goes
as life revolves around
her child will surely ask
questions that astound.

The little girl I bore
all those years ago
now carries within her
a heart made of pure gold.

The Lighter Side Of Poteau: Occasionally, there were some funny things that happened in Poteau. One of these involved a tornado. I grew up in Oklahoma, but in the central part in what is known as "Tornado Alley". We don't mess around with weather there. Poteau is in Eastern Oklahoma and although they have tornados, they don't pay as much attention to them as central Oklahoma so you would hear the weatherman say something like, "There may be a tornado, we're not sure." There may be a tornado? What does that mean? Those words scared me. Also, the only Oklahoma station we got was one Tulsa channel. The rest of our TV viewing came out of Ft. Smith Arkansas and several years earlier, their downtown had nearly been destroyed by a tornado.

Anyway, one night in April of the first year we're in Poteau, it is storming cats and dogs. The news says there are thunderstorms, but that is all. It's around 12am and I'm watching the weather one last time. I don't trust them because the wind is whipping, lighting is striking all around and it's raining hard, but it's all I've got. The weatherman states that there is no severe weather, only thunderstorms. I finally turn off the TV and prepare to go to sleep. The wind is whipping harder now. This doesn't make me feel too safe because we live on Scott Ridge which is half way up Cavanal Mountain so we're up around 900 ft. The clouds are hanging real low around our house and I have an uneasy feeling. I'm laying there and all the sudden, my cat who is at the foot of my bed kind of cranes her head up and stares intently out the window. I know something is up just by watching her. I get up and go to the window.

Now, I have been in 4 tornados, one of which was an F4 and killed 7 people. I know what the roar of a tornado sounds like and I hear the roar. All the sudden, the pressure pushes the window in. It doesn't break, but hits me in the face. Our house is a two-story and it begins to vibrate and shake. My husband is just getting out of the shower and my kids have already gone to bed. I run to the door and start yelling at the kids to get downstairs, this is it. Three of my kids are in the attic bedroom and they come running out. One is across the hall and I have to keep telling him to get downstairs because he keeps asking me if I'm for real or just teasing. As I leave my bedroom, my cat is going right with me down the stairs and so is everyone else. My son leaps down all the stairs yelling at the top of his voice, "We're gonna die, we're gonna die." It is a mix of arms, legs, cats and one naked guy none of us have noticed yet. Our other cat, who is a huge fraidy cat, bolts out the cat door right into the storm.

Now we're all running and falling over each other and the house is shaking and vibrating and creaking loudly. We're all headed for a large closet under the stairs. Ok, we cram in including the cat. It's tight in there because a lot of other stuff is in there too. We're just inches apart. Now the sirens are going off in both Poteau and Wister, both of which we hear because we live in-between the two towns in a rural neighborhood. My husband and I are up front by the door and I hear the kids snickering. My youngest daughter is saying, "Yuck, Yuck" over and over again. I start looking around to see what's going on and notice that my husband is stark naked and trying to put on a pair of my shorts. He hasn't figured out yet that these are not his shorts, so he keeps trying to fit into them. He can't of course. His ankles are as far up as they will go. His rear is in plain view and he is jumping up and down trying to get these little shorts on and looking around because the kids snickering has turned into out-right laughter. He looks around the tight closet once more. The tornado sirens are blaring. Suddenly, he bursts out of the closet in all his naked glory yelling that if he is gonna die; he won't die naked with my shorts halfway up his legs and his ass showing. He streaks upstairs and comes back with his own bitching and asking why I put my shorts in his basket. (I didn't. In his haste, he made the mistake and grabbed my clothes.)

Now he's cranky because the kids are still snickering and my youngest daughter is asking why he was naked and why he was trying to put on Mama's shorts, didn't he know they were too little? The kids tease him about being "the streaker." I didn't notice, I don't think any of us paid attention as we were running down the stairs, but my husband had been entirely naked the whole time. When he felt the house shaking, he had just bolted. It was so funny! He didn't think so, but the rest of us still laugh about it. It's one of those situations that was utter chaos and if it had been filmed it would have been hilarious to watch.

We survived, but our shed was knocked off its foundation, siding ripped off and our roof lifted on one corner. We also lost our garage door. Trees were down all over the place and roof damage was everywhere. The silly weatherman called it a gustnado, but I know it wasn't.

My motto while we lived in Poteau, "If it wasn't for bad luck, we wouldn't have any luck at all."

Poetry of the Day

SUMMER ENDS

Days grow short, fall draws nigh
Summer ends, with whispered goodbye
colorful leaves, dance all alone
lingering nearby, reluctant to roam
Cool, clear evenings, stars shining bright
Night is approaching, all is quiet
Out on the porch, I sit very still
The whooper will calls, just over the hill
The scent of wood smoke, adrift in the air
for this moment, earth lives without care
Soon will come, the harsh winter wind
summer will cease while winter descends
within my heart, contentment resides
waiting for the coming, of the changing tide.

Have you ever had something happen to you so quickly yet at the same time so incredibly slow that you thought it would never end? It happened to me today. My daughter and I went with my husband to Burlington Coat Factory while he looked for flannel shirts. He goes off to search for those and my daughter and I go to the accessory section of the store. We look at everything and end up looking at pictures. I spot one on the level closest to the floor, one of those really big ones, and ever so gently and slowly with one finger move it forward to see the picture behind it. WRONG MOVE! With such swiftness and in a manner I can't describe, the edge of that giant picture caught the edge of the one next to it on the right and flipped them out on the floor. Before those hit the floor, they tip the ones next to it, and those tip the ones next to those and before long we have a domino effect and all the pictures for about 15 or 20 fit are flipping out of their place on the shelf and landing on the floor.

I'm no idiot and know what's going to happen so when the first picture starts falling, I yell to my daughter, "Catch it, catch it!" She doesn't know what the crap I'm talking about because she's got her hands full of Egyptian pictures. She drops her picture and starts running up the aisle turning circles with her hands out-stretched because now she sees all the pictures falling and she's trying to catch them except there are too many falling at the same time. She kinda trips over one or two while she's yelling, "I can't, I can't! There's too many!"

Now we've got a line of spectators behind us and no one is saying too much except I hear one lady saying something like, "I'm glad that's not me, I'd die." I'm busy trying to put pictures up as they keep falling and a sales lady runs up from behind us somewhere and asks in a really loud voice if we're hurt. I assure her we're not and keep putting pictures up. The spectators are still behind us and my daughter is still running around saying, "Oh my gosh" over and over and not knowing which of the thousands (a slight exaggeration) of pictures to try to stop falling or to begin picking up. Ahhh, the last one hits the floor. I start laughing and state very loudly that it is a good thing I don't get embarrassed easily and then get the heck out of there.

We're halfway up the aisle when more store employees are coming. One of them asks what all the clanging and banging was back there. My daughter is totally humiliated now and tries to hide in the Christopher Lowell aisle (is that the guy's name?)


I don't think my daughter will be wantin' to go with Mom and Dad any time soon.

Poetry of the Day

ANCIENT

I watched you sleep in your quiet way
as the night wore on
and …
the moon beams danced across the darkness promising another day.
Now the dew falls upon the ground
the sleepy breezes blow
your breathing comes slow and easy
outside, there is no sound
My love for you is stirring
it seems to know no bounds
My love for you, an old, old yearning
lived long before this earth.
An ancient love I have for you
older than the seas
primordial love that will not flee
echoing through the ages.


I thought I’d skip my Poteau story for today and concentrate on one of my major pet peeves. What may that be you ask? All other drivers besides myself, that’s what! I thought Oklahoma drivers were bad, but Indiana drivers have us beat. Not that you would get any indication of this by the haughty attitude of the drivers manual you have to cram for before you take the written test. Oh no, that little book makes you know how many feet a semi will travel with hot brakes before it stops. I’ll just give you two examples straight from the manual:

What is the maximum single axle weight for trucks?
a. 17,000
b. 20,000
c. 80,000
d. All of the above (What the crap do I care? All I want to do is drive a car.)

And just so you’re really confused, let’s throw this one in:

What is the maximum tandem axle weight for trucks?
a. 20,000 lbs. per axle
b. 10,000 lbs. per axle
c. 17,000 lbs. per axle
d. 15,000 lbs. per axle (Did I say all I wanted to do was drive a car?)

Ok, so I pass the written test and do it on the first time I may add. But….do these people follow the snotty little manual that makes you learn all this stuff? NO!!!

Let’s do a little compare and contrast. Oklahoma drivers are all practicing to be the next NASCAR drivers. We like fast and don’t you dare try to get in our way. Whatever the speed limit posted, we’ll go at least 10mph faster.

In Indiana, the maximum on the interstate is 65mph and it’s been my experience that nearly all go the speed limit except in town. When in town, Indiana drivers want to see just how fast they can go without taking out a pedestrian or two.

In Oklahoma, when Farmer Joe (a fictitious name you know) gets in front of us on our little, bitty, narrow two lane roads, we get really impatient. Move your tractor, your wheat combiners, get OUT OF MY WAY. Of course, Farmer Joe just keeps puttin’ along so, we’ll pass him on any side of the road we can and that includes the shoulder. BEEP BEEP And… if you’re the rude sort, Farmer Joe might get a glimpse of the finger as you zoom around him going really fast.

In Indiana, in town, these people have no patience for anything. If you’re waiting to turn left, they will zoom around you on the right and keep on going. I saw an old man nearly get taken out still clutching his grocery bag and still hobbling across the road by a woman in a green van which brings me to my pet driving peeve, people in vans, but particularly green vans.

Now, this may sound a little mean or snobby, some may even call it prejudiced, I assure you it is not, but to get more specific, rather large women in green vans really tick me off. The lady who nearly took the old man out was a large woman in a green van. Now that was not my first encounter with this situation. Nearly every morning while taking my daughter to school, I meet a lady in a green van at the 4-way stop sign and does this woman wait her turn? NO!! She runs the stop sign every time we meet.

Another time, at the bank, there’s this big lady in a green van and we’re behind her waiting for her to finish her business and move on. This lady sits and does nothing for 5 minutes. We finally move to the line across from her where I have a really good look at her. This woman looks in her purse, looks around, does some other stuff and still hasn’t pushed the frickin’ button for the teller. She’s now been there 10 minutes. Finally, she finishes and instead of leaving, she just sits there doing some other stuff while cars are lined up from here to kingdom come behind her and does she give a care, NO she doesn’t.

Yesterday, I’m minding my own business, driving the way the snobby manual indicated I should and here comes this big, big broad in (I bet you can’t guess) a green van and she’s right on my rear as close as she can get. I tap my brakes a couple of times to try to get her to back off. We have to stop for a car that is turning left and this lady keeps revving her engine. Now, I can’t go anywhere because by this time we’re at a red light and several cars are ahead of me. She’s still right on my rear and it appears she’s done this before because the front of her van is jacked-up with a busted grill. I’m not usually an aggressive person, but all this green van stuff has finally ticked me off so I raise my arm and give her a sign to back off. I got my point across.

Anyway when we finally get on the 4-lane, this huge woman in her green van rips past everyone like she’s hell-bent on getting ahead of all of us. She’s weaving in and out of traffic and apparently the van doesn’t have good shocks because it rockin’ and rollin’ as she weaves. The last I saw of her, she was running a red light, pushing that van to the max.

My daughter and I are now on a crusade to determine what it is about the personalities of people who drive green vans that turn them into road warriors. I have always wished a huge flyswatter could be found that had the words STUPID or some other appropriate message written across it and one of the first things I would swat would be the windshield of green vans with huge, rude, ladies driving them.

I feel better now.

Poem of the Day

BLINDED

The people look, but do not see
the wickedness and apathy
of the man that steers the helm
their vision clouded within his realm.

Ever looking, never seeking
the truth within their view
jumping blindly without plan
believing in the man.

Illusions trick the sense of right
masking reality
images that seem to be
mirages become the truth.

So the people sit and stare
at what they really don’t see
living life ill at ease
engulfed in all this strife.

Someday soon the clock will chime
forcing much discord
the silent mouths will have to choose;
abolish or condone the crimes.

Until then the curtain falls
upon the sleeping minds
slumbering on in stupid silence
blind leading blind.


Poteau Continued: The man is so silly that when my contract comes up again, it's for 10 month's too. I sign it and send it back to the idiot upstairs. Eventually, another contract is sent this one for 12 months. At this point, I call a lawyer and he tells me not to sign the contract for 12 months, to let Joe make the next move. You would think the man would take better care of business. He's now given me 2 different contracts, both for 10 months and both signed by me. None of the 12 month contracts were ever signed and not one person ever asked why.

I continued to work summers. During the summer one of the regent's asked me if summer went fast for me and then said, "It wont' be long till you're back to the old grindstone. What is it, 10 more days until you'll have to go back?" His statement made me know for sure that my contract was for 10 months and the regent's didn't know I was being forced to work a 12 month contract.

And what about the so called regents? I called them inbred. Most of these people had sat on the board for ages. One regent had been on the board for over 27 years in 2000 and many of the other regents had either had parents on the board at some point, or the children of the current regents had sat on the board, or they themselves had been on the board forever. They just passed it around. They never asked questions about what Joe was doing and if something was brought to their attention, they turned a blind eye to the situation giving Joe undying support in every situation whether he was right or wrong.

Joseph had already begun to threaten other workers to stay away from us or they would be in trouble. We were ostracized by people in administration and Joe would not include my husband in important college functions. He would make derogatory remarks about my husband, his clothing, shoes, appearance, in front of others and then look around and laugh. The people at CASC in my opinion are weak. They would not stand up to him for various reasons and those who chose to keep in contact with us did so under extreme stress and fear.

Let me give you a little peek at the real Joe, the one not presented to the public. To begin with, he is unbelievably stupid, corrupt and dishonorable. When we first arrived at CASC, he would tell all kinds of things in an attempt to brag about himself and also show what types of things he'd gotten away with such as disclosing that he had used money from the Talent Search program to pay for a trip he and his wife took which had nothing to do with the program. Behind closed doors he would make comments such as "Niggers, aren't they funny." He told my husband he should take out one of the women faculty and in his words, "Give her a good fuck." He would be nice to a senator's wife who worked at the college and then speak derogatorily about her husband behind both their backs. He made my program provide service to all the high schools when the grant stated that we were only to use the federal funds to service kids in the Talent Search program.

Here are some other things the dishonest guy did and I'm sure before I finish this entire story, I'll remember more. He told my husband who is also a Colonel in the Army Reserves that he would not allow him to go higher in rank than Colonel and that he could not go on active duty more than he thought he should. Everything he said and did concerning my husbands military career is illegal. He allowed his wife to keep her office on campus for an entire semester after she retired. He rehired his former VPAA after the guy retired in a part-time position which was illegal. Paid employees out of federal funds saying the employee worked 100% for those programs and then used them in other areas and most of the time, would not allow the person to do the job in the federal programs they were hired for.

Before nearly all college functions where regents or foundation people would be present, Joe always made sure there was plenty of liquor. He used my boss as the bar tender and college students as waiters. Many times these kids would be under age and get into the liquor. I was standing right by one of these students who was also a minor when Joe asked him if he wanted a drink. The kid said, "No, I can't. I'm not old enough." Joe said, "Oh come on. Don't tell me you haven't gotten into the liquor when you've stayed at my house watching my dog." The kid was very offended and said, "No, I have never done that."

My boss was also the PTK coordinator and he told her boss that if she ever tried to quit being PTK coordinator that he would fire her. She did not want to do the job, but if she wanted to continue in the job she was hired for, she had to keep on. He took money from all the federal programs to buy supplies for his office and often times, for the entire college. He used the federal programs for recruitment.

I believe my boss used funds from the federal funds for PTK which was ok with Joe. For example, she would pay for a Halloween deal she put on for PTK using federal funds, but would let Talent Search students in free thereby justifying the use of funds. However, the name would always be something like, PTK Halloween Walk of Terror, Urban Legends or something like that and then also use that with PTK. He used the federal programs for his own gain and bragged about it in several instances.

I could go on and on and plan to do just that. However, I won't throw it all at you at once!
Stay tuned!

Poem of the Day

LITTLE MAN

I know a man, a really small man
not in size or stature
but in inward disposition.

Humbly pious in every situation
acting and reacting in devious acquisition
hands clasped while heads tumble
scalding others with injustice.

Mean spirited, his prime recreation
living life in falsified salvation.
His whole being reeks of tainted satisfaction
watching the destruction of the campus congregation.

Poteau Continued: I was also an advisor for a program dealing with day care and getting a certificate when finished with the program. With this came the responsibility of enrolling students in the classes needed as well as advising students. I also taught one of the classes.

I was sent a letter from one of my bosses stating that I must make up the hours when I was teaching class because it was "double dipping." This in fact was not double dipping because I was paid separately not to mention the fact that my immediate boss was the PTK advisor and spent many, many hours doing this during the hours she was supposed to be working for the federal programs. There was no way possible she could make up all the hours she spent on this program, and it's my belief, that because she had made PTK a 5 star program, she was never asked to make up hours nor were some other employees, only those not liked by administration.

Anyway, I'm in my new office that I've been told I can have by Joe himself enrolling students and two maintenance men come into my office and tell me that they have been told to move me back, that I did not have permission to move into that office. I tell them that Joe told me I could and that I am enrolling students. They ask me not to be mad at them, they are only doing what they've been told and that I am not the first it's happened to. I tell them ok, but it is very unprofessional and that it is only hurting the college. Somewhere in there, the student I was enrolling, leaves. My computer is down the rest of the day and I can't enroll students. When I'm asked why I am not enrolling, I tell them what happened. Because I can't enroll, it throws others into a mess trying to take up the slack because Joe will not hire adequate help in the registrar’s office.

I have to go through all that crap with my two bosses, then the VP with all of them stating I had not followed "proper procedure." Bullcrap! I followed the procedures laid out. I told my boss, who informed her boss, who informed the VP and it was ok'd by all of them. They all knew that Joe had given me that office. My boss made a key request and no one thought anything about the delay in getting the key because they never gave anyone a key to anything for a very long time. That's why my boss gave me the key she had.

By this time, I am really angry and call Joe's office to make an appointment to speak with him. His secretary tells me that he is in and she will let me know when I can come up. Joe is in my opinion, a total idiot and a pompous windbag full of hot air. Of course, he plays his game and I don't hear from his secretary until 9am the next morning and then she wants to know if I can come up in 15 minutes. This is one of the tactics this a-hole uses to try to throw a person off balance, but it doesn't work with me. I go up. Following is much of what happened and was said because I was documenting everything those backward hillbillies did.

When I walked in, White was standing up and said something to the effect like, "So what is it, another communication problem?" I told him no. He said, "Well, let's see, last time it was the contract. This time it is an office." I told him I didn't have any communication problems about the office. He said, "Well, I guess you did. You got yourself a key and moved your furniture over there." I told him I didn't move my furniture, just my desk stuff. He asked me what I wanted and I told him games were being played. He replied that he was not playing games. I told him he knew he was, he knew he had told me more than once that I would be taking that office when his wife retired. He replied, "Maybe I did and maybe I didn't. If I did, why did it take you three weeks to move in?" I told him because I had been waiting for him to tell me when and I thought since he'd already told me twice, maybe he just expected me to, so I did.

The rest of the jest of the conversation went something like this:
Said I reminded him of his kids when they were little and couldn't have what they wanted and then threw a big fit and then said, "I want an office, I want an office."

Said I had turned down the office for a year and had done nothing. I informed him that his wife had not wanted me in there until she left. He said he knew nothing about that. I told him also that his wife had said he told her he wanted to use the space for faculty so I didn't move in.

Said I had waited three weeks after being offered it again.

Said I hadn’t followed proper procedure. When I asked him what that was he said I should have called his secretary and told her he had given me the office and what did I need to do. I told him that if he was the boss and he had told me I could move in, why did I need to ask his secretary? Then he said I should have called his assistant. Then he said I should have waited until he got back from a trip and called him. Then he said he would have talked to his assistant to see if it was ok with him after I called his secretary. I stated again, if he was the boss, why he needed to ask everyone else.

He stood behind his desk pacing, throwing his arms out wide and yelling, "What do you want? What do you want? Do you want me to apologize, get down on my knees, what?" I told him I didn't want anything but to know why he had done this. He kept saying that most people would have stopped at the VP. I told him I was not most people.

Said that I had drug the whole college into this and people were telling him that I was saying all kinds of bad things about him (a total lie). When I asked him what, he said I had called him horrible names like, "He's a horrible, mean blankety, blank." (another lie) I told him I hadn’t talked to anyone and his informants were wrong and that I would tell them that personally or he could take the message back to them.

He got really upset when I said, "You either have honor or you don't" and continued ranting by saying he got talked about all the time, he was used to it. Then he said people thought highly of him both in town and in college and there wasn't anyone who didn't like him except maybe the 5 people he had fired. (Many people in town did not think highly of him. Many had asked us when we first arrived what we thought of him, and stated that the college was Joe's college. My husband and I both had even been asked if we knew what went on at the college and if we did, how we could work there.)

It ended by him offering me the office again if I wanted to follow proper procedure. I said, "No, you have offered it 2 different times and re-niggled each time."

I cannot express the emotional stress the situation brought on my whole family and as time progressed, it only got worse.

Poem of the Day

LIFE

Life revolves
as the world spins along
serendipitly
exit one
as another enters
and the tape plays on.

Poteau Continued: So, now Joe is not only on my husband, but me as well in a more subtle way. My job "that everyone on campus wants", is quickly turning into a job I don't want. I see my two bosses, I see the VP of Student Affairs, and finally, I go to the president himself. He's cordial. He says he sees how I might think my job would be for 10 months since he told me I was taking his wife's job. He tells me that I've made him feel like a heel. He says I can have her office again if I want it. I tell him I do. I walk out knowing that he is dishonest and unethical.

Things begin to make sense now. This is just circumstantial and my own opinion, but I think it is valid. My theory on his disposition is that Joe harbors illusions of grandeur where he is concerned. His outer presentation is charming, caring, and professional, but his true person is quite different. He is very concerned about his reputation, he is extremely power hungry, and if he believes someone to be competition or a threat to him, he goes after that person threatening them with their job security. He believes he is above others and is condescending. He acts as if CASC is his own personal business instead of a state owned college. He has been in power there for 27 years and one of his regents has been on the board longer than that.

He's got my husband and me in his power because we both work at Carl Albert State College as did the previous VP and his wife. Our financial security is at stake and in his hands. He threatened my husband that he would not give him a good reference and would therefore, keep him from getting a job elsewhere and in fact, he did do this in many instances. My husband had more than one interview where he knew he was in the running with indications that he would get the job then all the sudden, he would not hear from those institutions. It didn't take too long before he stopped using Joe as a reference.

Only one thing stood between my husband losing his job without warrant and staying at Carl Albert State College and that was the 10 year accreditation coming up. Joe could not go through the accreditation without someone who knew what had to be done and Joe knew he could not let my husband go until after that. We were safe for awhile.

In the meantime, I go back to my office and wait for Joe to tell me when I can move into his wife's former office. I hear nothing so I begin to think that he just meant for me to move in. He has told me more than once that I can have the office so I go to my boss and let her know that Joe has said again I can have Melba's office. She has a key and gives it to me and I move my computer over. In the meantime, we put in for a key request.

What happens next you won't believe. Stay tuned!