Going...Going...Gone

Poem of the Day

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

Been there done that,
know what it's all about
Day in, day out,
taking crap from a tyrannical lout
makes your life seem out of whack
feet hit the floor, barely out of the sack
to work you go and start once again
pretend, pretend and then defend.
I say it again only louder now
I want to go, and I will somehow.
Trapped by money and payments too
That statement should give a clue
As to why I stay and why I'm here
Came about by a lousy career.

Poteau Continued: In December of 2000, Joe's wife was retiring and I was supposed to take her office. It was one of the things that supposedly went along with my taking her job after she retired along with a ten month contract and some other privileges. She retired, but she did not move out of her office. I said nothing, but had a wait and see attitude.

In December of 2000 at one of the parties Joe throws for regents and people who donate to the college foundation, Joe pulls my husband off to the side and talks to him. He says he's just trying to do his job and he's sorry he has to be so hard. Later, he comes up to me. He's drunk and 63 to boot. He laces his fingers through my fingers on both hands and then is going to try to kiss me. I moved my head to the side and he lands a big, wet, nasty, old man kiss on my neck! UGH!!! Then he starts asking me if my job is ok, is the salary good enough, are they treating me well, etc. I am repulsed, but have to act like it's ok he has slobbered on my neck. On top of all that, he serves liquor at these functions and has college kids working them. Some of these kids are not 21 and are sneaking into the liquor. I also wonder about the legality of some of the things he is doing.

I began receiving full-time pay in January of 2001. Even though I was told I would have Melba's office, (the president's wife) and even though she was retired, I shared an office with another employee. I kept telling my boss and her boss that my job was for a ten month contract, that I had been told I was taking Melba's job and that she had a ten month contract and that I was supposed to move into her office when she retired. My immediate boss did not know about the office until I told her, but her boss did. My bosses told me that my job was for 12 months, so I kept working even though I was told by Joe himself to let my boss know who my husband was (which says a lot about the way the silly man thought) and that to quote him, "We don't do those summer jobs or do those overnight trips."

Around June of 2001, Melba finally begins to move out of her office. She asks me if I was sure I didn't want the office. I told her I did. I heard nothing for around three weeks when she tells me that Joe wants to keep her office for faculty. Again, I say nothing but by now, could see that my husband and I were on Joe's hit list just as the previous VP and his wife had been.

Then, something else happens. I continued telling my bosses that my job was for 10 months. In June, I receive a contract for 10 months, sign it and show my immediate boss that my contract was indeed for 10 months and send it back upstairs. My boss tells me that she will have to let her boss know because he thought my contract was for 12 months too. I work the rest of the day and go to my husband's office to go home. It is then that my bosses' boss, comes into my husband's office and tells me that my contract was wrong and he has had it changed to 12 months. I tell him he has no business doing that and I am not coming to work until the man that hired me, the president, tells me differently. I don't go back to for several days and then am contacted by my bosses boss who tells me that I am supposed to follow due process by talking first to my boss and him and then up the ladder. I tell him I want to talk directly to Joe. I finally give in and start the climb up the due process ladder.

More tomorrow. Too bad I didn't file sexual harassment against Joe when I had the chance because it starts to get ugly from now on.

Poem of the Day

IMPATIENCE

Time stands still
when impatience abounds
an ungrounded feeling ensues
stress engulfs
with its stifling touch
solidly welding the two.


Poteau Continued: Operations done, but all three cost over $10,000! Well, that pretty much took care of the money we had to redo the house we had just bought. It need some updating and the tape around the ceiling had popped due to roof damage etc. That would just have to wait until we either tried to repair it ourselves or more money came in.

In the meantime, Joseph is calling my husband into his office nearly every Friday. We don't know what to make of this. My husband believes Joe is just trying to impart "fatherly" advice to him or teach him how to be the type of president he is. He doesn't feel concerned, just confused because Joe has told him he is not the type of president that meddles into his peoples affairs. This was the beginning of what was to become one method of the presidents' verbal and mental abuse. Besides this, we were constantly being warned "that the boss wouldn't like that." The boss wouldn't like it if I talked to my child's teacher about some things. The boss won't let you live in another town and drive to work. You have to laugh at all the bosses' jokes. If he invites you somewhere or asks you to give a dinner or party, you'd better do it. People were not even allowed to apply for jobs other places without his disapproval and if you did anyway, he would chew those brave enough to try it out in front of everyone.

I had not even started full time yet, but the financial guy calls me and asks me how I am going to make up the time I've missed. I tell him I am only part time until January and say that I will begin working full time in December to make up any time I have missed. In November my husband comes home very upset. It has been 5 months since he took the job and says he knows why the president called him into his office every Friday because on this Friday, he told him he would not recommend him for rehire in January, that he was not doing a good job, that he was tired of making excuses for him to the regents and many more lies. Of course, we were thrown into an immediate panic. We bought a house in August, moved our kids from friends and family, my husband had quit his previous job to take this one and that pompous windbag is setting him up for a fall just like he did the previous VP. We decided it came down to two things; Joe had told my husband he had better be afraid of him because he could keep him from ever getting another job and my husband, a military man as well as having a PhD. was not afraid and told him so! That's when that idiot of a man decided to show my husband and me and also. Secondly, my husband was getting praise from all over town and the campus as well as at the state level and Joe was in my opinion, just downright jealous.

Things began to go down fast after that, but not fast enough to suit me! And, I hadn't even begun to work full time yet!

Stay Tuned as all hell begins to break loose.

Poem of the Day

AS THE WORLD SPINS BY

The clock ticks
as the world spins by
silent hands collecting time
measuring space from now till then
a new one born,
an old one dies
and me
somewhere in-between.

Poteau Continued: Ahhhh.....Operation #3! The first of September was my third and last operation in nearly as many months. Two doctors were to be in on the process, my urologist and my gynecologist. The urologist was to put a stint into the urethra so my gynecologist would not accidentally cut the urethra which would have been a major, major problem. I go in bright and early on the morning of the operation, except this time, I am smarter. I tell all people involved that I do not want anything to calm me down before the operation this time. I want no more allergic reactions to this stuff. All agree with me and I am rolled in. But can I just be rolled in, NO!!! I have to have an asthma attack. Thank goodness it was not bad!

Ok, I'm lying on the operating table all naked and the urologist is sitting in the operating room and I hear the nurses and the doctor discussing my height. All the sudden, he yells out, "Sherri, how tall are you?" I tell him and he says, "See, I was right. I win!" The little midget (he wasn't very tall himself) had bet on how tall I was! Then they put the thing over my mouth and nose that is supposed to put me out. In the previous operations, two breaths and I'm out. With this one, I just keep staying awake. The nurse says she'd like to get this started and I, (just to let them know I'm not out) yell that I am not asleep and please don't start yet! I found out through that experience that you don't go out nearly as fast without all that stuff they give you before the operation.

The next thing I know, my gynecologist is whispering in my ear it is over and all is ok. They wheel me into my room and I think I'm dying! Really! I was so tired. They have me hooked up to morphine. Every time I feel pain, I'm supposed to push this little button and take a hit. Every time I hit the button though, I feel really sick. I lost 5 pounds because I couldn't eat. I wouldn't suggest this as a way to lose weight though!

Pretty soon, I start feeling sorry for myself. I am far from family and friends. I have no visitors except for my husband and three kids that live with me and they can't stay long due to school and work. The rest of my family is 3 hours away. I am sick and sore and have had three operations in a place I don't know, by people I don't know and blah, blah, blah.

I wake up in the night and the catheter is really bothering me. They spend the rest of the night trying to fix that because it keeps pinching closed and won't work properly. It is a pitiful thing to have to pee and not be able to unless a nurse is messing with the tube that allows it. Gross, I know, but what can I say?

I'm in the hospital for three days. The urologist comes in the day I'm supposed to leave and literally rips out the stint. This one is different than the other one. This one is hard plastic and not just a tube like the other one. This one is squiggled like a pig’s tail. OUCH!! Next comes the nurse to "take the staples out." "Huh, what are you going to do?" "Just take a hit on the morphine" she says. That's ok with me lady, if you don't mind being puked on, I don't mind doing it for you. She proceeds to get a staple puller and takes them out just like you would on a piece of paper.

Meanwhile, back at the job of terror; more to come tomorrow

Poem of the Day

AMUSEMENT

I amuse myself when I write
of stupid men and their lives
Conceited, I know, but what a pity
to keep it hidden would not be fitting.

Poteau Continued: My urologist told me he had a gynecologist coming by to see me later the evening of the first operation. I sat 3 days in the hospital racking up bills before he showed up! Finally, on the third day, he comes in. He was good looking, so I forgave him! He wants to leave the stint in for a month through one menstrual cycle to see if the cyst shrinks. I am to see him in a month. The stint causes infection so I have to start taking antibiotics. The antibiotics cause yeast infections so I have to mess with that. At the end of the month, I go see my good looking gynecologist and they do a sonogram. The urethra is still enlarged so operation #2 is scheduled. It is to be a type of exploratory surgery to see if the cyst on the right ovary is actually pinching the urethra and if the urethra is still larger than it should be.

Operation 2 took place in September. Of course, I can't just be a normal person. Because I was allergic to the medication in the first operation, they gave me another kind for this one. I was allergic to this one too. This medication made my heart rate go very high. They had to give me oxygen. The nurse runs to get the doctor who comes in and talks to me about how un-normal it is for a patient to be allergic to all these medications, but I will be ok. Finally, I am wheeled in for the operation. When I come out, I am told not only do I have a cyst on the right ovary and a large one at that, but a fibroid tumor on the uterus the size of a doorknob and also endometriosis as well. My urethra which is supposed to be very small is the size of my doctors little finger. "It's not good he says. You're going to have to have a hysterectomy." He then proceeds to tell me that he won't do the operation unless the urologist puts a stint in the urethra first, that it is imperative that he do so because if the urethra is cut, I will be in big trouble. My last operation is scheduled for the first of October.

In the mean time, we find a house. The house needs a little work, but we have money put back for that and the scenery is to die for! We settle in. The house is two-storied and guess what, I'm told not to climb stairs for a week or two after my 2nd operation, not to drive, not to lift and so on. Can life get any better in Poteau? I've been here 3 months and everything is falling apart including me!

Operation #3 coming up next time.

Poem of the Day

MASK

The faces presented to this old world
often mask what is real inside
Inside reality
versus outside formality
Inward insecurity
Outward absurdity
The question is; what is real
What is showed or what is closed
The viewer please, approach with caution
Open eyes is one such option.

Poteau Continued: Our life in Poteau had not begun very well and in the three years we lived there, I lie not, it progressed from bad to worse. At this point I need to backtrack some to explain the situation. We arrived in Poteau June of 2000 after having lived at Carlisle Barracks where the Army War College is located. My husband is a Colonel in the Reserves and was chosen to attend the War College for a year. It was a wonderful experience and my husband was full of optimism when we arrived in Poteau. He had a job waiting in our previous location that he had worked at for thirteen years, but felt the job as VP was a step up and would prepare him for a presidency later. I on the other hand, knew that this was going to be a bad situation before we ever set foot in Poteau.

We moved into a caretaker's cottage for a month while trying to find a house. It was during this time that I developed a severe pain in my side. I tried to get into a doctor, but could not. Finally, as I had been warned, my husband had to call and get me an appointment. This doctor told me if I didn't feel better in a week, to come back. They did some lab work and a urinalysis and sent me on my way. By 5a.m. the next morning, I was in the emergency room in severe pain. The emergency room did some more lab work, another urinalysis, and a sonogram and discovered something in my urethra. I was informed there was blood in the urine and in fact, it had been there when I went to the doctor the day before. I was sent to a urologist in Ft. Smith the same day and let me tell you, I was scared to death. I had only been in Poteau around 2 weeks and already things were going wrong. First I couldn't get into a doctor, next I was misdiagnosed, and now I had to go to a specialist in Ft. Smith for something in my urethra. The emergency room loaded me up with pain shots and sent me on my way to Ft. Smith. The specialist there immediately informed me that I would need an operation. To make a long story short, I ended up having 3 operations; one in July, one in September, and one in October.

During the first operation, I was allergic to the medication given to patients previous to the operation, you know, the one that is supposed to calm you down; well it jacked me up good. I was wired instead of calm and on top of all that I was supposed to have had the operation at noon and didn't get in until 6p.m. that night. They put a stint in and the urologist told me I would need to see gynecologist. He said there were no kidney stones like he thought, but a very large cyst on the right ovary which had lain over on the urethra and pinched it off. The stint was to stop this from happening. Due to this, my urethra was way bigger than it was supposed to be and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

Stayed tuned for operation #2 of the Poteau Saga tomorrow.

Poem of the Day

SITUATION

There's a situation, in the Little Dixie nation
and I think LeFlore County is the exact location.
social ignorance and self greed
help to create this ignorant equation.

It seems there's a man, within this delegation
expecting from others, great adulation
feeling he should be, the center of attention
for what he considers, his immaculate reputation.

Actually though, he's a bonafide extremist
living his life, in utmost desecration
toss in a bit, of stupidity and greed
and that my friend, gives you the situation.

Honesty and integrity are few and far between
In fact they aren't even, included in the scene.
His cohorts, how they cackle, when they induce strife
Messing up and destroying, other people's lives.

Now for the idiot's that think he is so grand
Because of their stupidity, they never take a stand
Then there are those, who let the beast roam
Most of them are old, exactly like the crone..

Backward and corrupt the situation grows
And the society here, doesn't even know
The extent of their ignorance, to everyone else
The silly, silly people are too involved with self.

The downfall is coming, the time is drawing nigh
When that situation, will all be put to right
Don't hold your breath, if you are one of them
The outlook for you, is really quite grim.

One by one you'll fall, from your self-proclaimed high
The entire Dixie Nation, will hear an indrawn sigh
When vanity and pride, no longer can you hide
When those on the outside, get a look at the inside.

So begin your mourning now, the wolf is at the door
The secrets will soon be spilling, all across LeFlore
Hold on to your backside, stay for the show
You'll soon be invited to the purging of old Joe.

Poteau Continued:Ah, Poteau. The proper pronuciation for Poteau is Po-toe, but the locals pronounced it Po-doe. I was corrected many times in how to speak Poteauian. But...on to the story. I soon came to realize that my husband and I were receiving the royal treatment because the president did not like the VP of Student Afffairs and his wife. They had been hired about a year before we came and had been given the same royal treatment in the beginning. This man had been hired also believing he would be the next president and in fact, the advertisement had mentioned that fact. His wife was hired in the TRIO programs just as I had been the year before.

These people were ethical, honest, church going people and well respected in the community. However, it wasn't long after we arrived that the president began to use us to show that couple how far they had fallen out of favor with him. And why had they fallen out of favor? Who knows. Joseph's philosphy was, "Everyone needs a little ass chewin' once in a while," and boy, did he chew on them. The VP of Student Affairs tried to warn my husband by telling him everything was not what it seemed and to watch out, but Joseph had been telling my husband all kinds of things about this couple and he didn't know what to think. Joseph told us that he hated this man and his wife, that he couldn't stand how they held hands or kissed each other. He said that this man would not drink liquor and that his (Joseph's) daddy had told him that if a man didn't drink it was because he couldn't. Joseph would belittle this couple in front of others and laugh behind their back. He would tell me how the wife wanted the job I was going to have. Joe was using use to rub in their face kind of like, "Look at this, you're out and they are in."

Within about a month of our arrival, this couple left and when they left, Joseph had to find new prey to torment. Yep, you're right. My husband and I became the new play toy for old Joe. We can be compared to a cat playing with a mouse. We were in his trap with no forseeable way to get out.

Poem of the Day

A BONE JARRING PUNCH

How I'd love to pound that lout
wearing his ratty toupee
prancing here, prancing there
a TKO, HE'S OUT!
A bone-jarring punch
a jab to the jaw
a knock to that old belly
would certainly, most assuredly
reveal his inept absurdity.

Hmmm, it's been quite awhile since I last checked in so I'll continue on with the saga of Poteau.

Poteau Continued: Have you ever been placed upon a pedstal or treated as if you were royalty and then realized that your head was really on the chopping block, your way of life soon to be put in jeopardy? Old Joe was good at putting on a show, full of charm, almost falling all over us in every public situation, but that old man was full of lies and we would begin a life of hell for three long years.

A little background first. My husband took the job of Vice President of Academic Affairs under the belief he would have a shot at being the next president when Joseph retired in two or three years. He was to be second in charge of the college when the president was gone, receive an office of new furniure, and run his part of the college and many more things to numerous to list. I was to work part time until Joseph's wife retired in December and take over her job full time in January. According to Joseph, the president, his wife's job was considered to be one of the best on campus. She didn't work summers although the TRIO program she worked for was considered full-time, she had a special parking space on campus, had her own office in another building away from the boss she didn't care for, and didn't participate in summer trips taken by the rest of the staff. I was promised that job. I was told to let my boss know who my husband was and to let her know her place, that his wife "didn't do those summer or over-night trips", her office, etc. Only later was I to find that our arrival in June signaled the beginning of three years of hell, ill-health and battling corruption in the place called Little Dixie.