Going...Going...Gone

Poetry of the Day

ANCIENT

I watched you sleep in your quiet way
as the night wore on
and …
the moon beams danced across the darkness promising another day.
Now the dew falls upon the ground
the sleepy breezes blow
your breathing comes slow and easy
outside, there is no sound
My love for you is stirring
it seems to know no bounds
My love for you, an old, old yearning
lived long before this earth.
An ancient love I have for you
older than the seas
primordial love that will not flee
echoing through the ages.


I thought I’d skip my Poteau story for today and concentrate on one of my major pet peeves. What may that be you ask? All other drivers besides myself, that’s what! I thought Oklahoma drivers were bad, but Indiana drivers have us beat. Not that you would get any indication of this by the haughty attitude of the drivers manual you have to cram for before you take the written test. Oh no, that little book makes you know how many feet a semi will travel with hot brakes before it stops. I’ll just give you two examples straight from the manual:

What is the maximum single axle weight for trucks?
a. 17,000
b. 20,000
c. 80,000
d. All of the above (What the crap do I care? All I want to do is drive a car.)

And just so you’re really confused, let’s throw this one in:

What is the maximum tandem axle weight for trucks?
a. 20,000 lbs. per axle
b. 10,000 lbs. per axle
c. 17,000 lbs. per axle
d. 15,000 lbs. per axle (Did I say all I wanted to do was drive a car?)

Ok, so I pass the written test and do it on the first time I may add. But….do these people follow the snotty little manual that makes you learn all this stuff? NO!!!

Let’s do a little compare and contrast. Oklahoma drivers are all practicing to be the next NASCAR drivers. We like fast and don’t you dare try to get in our way. Whatever the speed limit posted, we’ll go at least 10mph faster.

In Indiana, the maximum on the interstate is 65mph and it’s been my experience that nearly all go the speed limit except in town. When in town, Indiana drivers want to see just how fast they can go without taking out a pedestrian or two.

In Oklahoma, when Farmer Joe (a fictitious name you know) gets in front of us on our little, bitty, narrow two lane roads, we get really impatient. Move your tractor, your wheat combiners, get OUT OF MY WAY. Of course, Farmer Joe just keeps puttin’ along so, we’ll pass him on any side of the road we can and that includes the shoulder. BEEP BEEP And… if you’re the rude sort, Farmer Joe might get a glimpse of the finger as you zoom around him going really fast.

In Indiana, in town, these people have no patience for anything. If you’re waiting to turn left, they will zoom around you on the right and keep on going. I saw an old man nearly get taken out still clutching his grocery bag and still hobbling across the road by a woman in a green van which brings me to my pet driving peeve, people in vans, but particularly green vans.

Now, this may sound a little mean or snobby, some may even call it prejudiced, I assure you it is not, but to get more specific, rather large women in green vans really tick me off. The lady who nearly took the old man out was a large woman in a green van. Now that was not my first encounter with this situation. Nearly every morning while taking my daughter to school, I meet a lady in a green van at the 4-way stop sign and does this woman wait her turn? NO!! She runs the stop sign every time we meet.

Another time, at the bank, there’s this big lady in a green van and we’re behind her waiting for her to finish her business and move on. This lady sits and does nothing for 5 minutes. We finally move to the line across from her where I have a really good look at her. This woman looks in her purse, looks around, does some other stuff and still hasn’t pushed the frickin’ button for the teller. She’s now been there 10 minutes. Finally, she finishes and instead of leaving, she just sits there doing some other stuff while cars are lined up from here to kingdom come behind her and does she give a care, NO she doesn’t.

Yesterday, I’m minding my own business, driving the way the snobby manual indicated I should and here comes this big, big broad in (I bet you can’t guess) a green van and she’s right on my rear as close as she can get. I tap my brakes a couple of times to try to get her to back off. We have to stop for a car that is turning left and this lady keeps revving her engine. Now, I can’t go anywhere because by this time we’re at a red light and several cars are ahead of me. She’s still right on my rear and it appears she’s done this before because the front of her van is jacked-up with a busted grill. I’m not usually an aggressive person, but all this green van stuff has finally ticked me off so I raise my arm and give her a sign to back off. I got my point across.

Anyway when we finally get on the 4-lane, this huge woman in her green van rips past everyone like she’s hell-bent on getting ahead of all of us. She’s weaving in and out of traffic and apparently the van doesn’t have good shocks because it rockin’ and rollin’ as she weaves. The last I saw of her, she was running a red light, pushing that van to the max.

My daughter and I are now on a crusade to determine what it is about the personalities of people who drive green vans that turn them into road warriors. I have always wished a huge flyswatter could be found that had the words STUPID or some other appropriate message written across it and one of the first things I would swat would be the windshield of green vans with huge, rude, ladies driving them.

I feel better now.