Poem of the Day
SHOES
Shoes, shoes, what would I do
without my lovely shoes!
They keep my little tootsies warm
They keep my feet real clean
They take me places I want to go
And don't you dare be mean
Cause if you do, my good old shoes
will go right after you
you haven’t a chance, they’ll kick your pants
they really are a dream!
My shoes! How I love them,
I’m hoping you do too
My shoes how I love them
I have more than a few
My shiny black, teach me to dance
The Nikes, for running fast
My stiletto heels give guys a thrill
They’re more than they can stand
And lest I forget, my Sunday best
The pumps go with my purple dress
But alas, my favorite pair
Will walk right over you
I guess you know, my boots kick ass
Don’t say you didn’t know.
And so goodbye, the time is right
It’s time for me to go
The next shoe trend is calling me
I’m off to look again
For the shoes that catch my eye
I fear there’ll be no end
But what the heck , I love the effect
Of all those new shoe trends!
Would anyone be interested in hiring a "Novice Carpenter" (that's my title, a novice carpenter) one that really knows how to jack up wood with my trusty hammer? My husband and I enrolled in a novice carpentry class. And such a mixture of people you've never seen!
Let's begin with Jesus pronounced Hey-seuss but who everyone calls Joe because we can't remember the pronunciation. Joe is 70 years old and from the Bronx in NYC. He was born in Puerto Rico. Joe has had a varied career. He apparently has had some "gang" experience as a youth because he often says, "I'll get you; and your mother too!" He says this is what the gangs said to each other when he was a kid. Joe joined the Air Force on the enlisted side and ended a 20 year career as a Master Sergeant. Joe's next career was as a hair stylist for 30 years. He says people with red hair and a lot of freckles have bad tempers, don't ever pull their hair! He also is a marshal arts expert and I bet in his day, was a lady's man. He's the life of the party!
Next we have Margaret. Margaret is somewhere in her late 50's. Margaret spits whenever she talks. Not that this makes her less likeable, I like Margaret. I just don't stand real close when she's talking. She doesn't talk much, but has a desire to actually do carpentry since she's worked in a carpenter’s office for 27 years. Margaret brought the right hammer to class. Everyone wanted her hammer. Margaret has a way of standing that makes her look like her knees are always bent. I never can tell if she's about to wilt, or if it's just the appearance of her pants at the knees. I think when she takes them off; they retain that perpetual bend in the knee.
Sean has piercings all over his face. He doesn't say much and I think, his mom drug him to the class. They made him run this gigantic saw last night and he really didn't want to, but was not pushy enough to say no. He is the best hammerer in the class.
Sean's mom Michelle lives in an old house that she is trying to remodel. She needs electrical help even though her husband was an electrician. Michelle says her husband didn't cotton to working with electricity around the house. Someone is going to have to tell her novice carpenters don't do electricity. I'm afraid she's still stuck without any electrical help.
Bill is a tall, lanky older man in his 60's. Bill messes with electricity, but has not offered any aid to Michelle. He has a scraggly beard and wants to know how to hang a door. He is a little afraid of that big saw I think, because he mentioned to me how powerful it was and how it jerked.
Rick is the instructor. He says his education is in music, but he grew up in the family business. He is kind of tall with quite a large belly and gets stuck on very long answers to any question. He feeds us well.
Tyson is a 23 year old carpenter. He's attended college and knows all kinds of things. I have my eye on him for my daughter.
Sean is another carpenter. He's 21. At first he was quiet, but now he talks a lot. He looks like Johnny Depp and I find myself wanting to tell him that. I have my eye on him for my daughter.
My husband wants to build a wall in the garage. He is very good at measuring and was the best measurer in class. He is not such a good hammerer or nailer, but hopefully that will come later.
Now we come to me. I am there because my husband wanted us to do something together. At least it wasn't football. (Hmmm we've already done that.) I can put almost anything together. I understand what we are doing. We are learning to frame a wall, hang a door and two windows. We will hang drywall, then mud and tape it. I understand the concepts; I just can't use the frickin hammer!
My husband hammered first. His nail fell out and he didn't hit it very hard, but he hit it. Then, he hands the hammer to me. I mean, I had to take it because all eyes were on me and I could see them thinking, "Oh, look, her husbands putting her on the spot. Will she take the hammer?" You bettcha I will! The frame is on top of this huge table and you have to hammer at a funny angle. I start the nail. I miss the nail. I hit it once or twice. I'm jacking the wood up. It's bashed with little, round hammer marks all over it. The nail is in crooked. I notice this and ask about it. Rick tells me to pull it out and shows everyone what to do when you've jacked up your nail. I can do this! I can do this! I repeat this over and over to myself. I rear the hammer back and BANG, I jack that nail up so bad it's poking out the top of the wood. I'm used again as an example of what to do when you jack up the nail and the wood. By this time, everyone is crowding in around me, encouraging me to hit that nail again saying "You're doing good." I stop and look at all the faces and say, "Have you guys gotten a good look at this jacked up piece of wood? Anyone want to hire a novice carpenter?"
Like I said, I understand the concept. I understand how to do it, but I think I'll hire a hammerer to hammer for me.
Till next time.
SHOES
Shoes, shoes, what would I do
without my lovely shoes!
They keep my little tootsies warm
They keep my feet real clean
They take me places I want to go
And don't you dare be mean
Cause if you do, my good old shoes
will go right after you
you haven’t a chance, they’ll kick your pants
they really are a dream!
My shoes! How I love them,
I’m hoping you do too
My shoes how I love them
I have more than a few
My shiny black, teach me to dance
The Nikes, for running fast
My stiletto heels give guys a thrill
They’re more than they can stand
And lest I forget, my Sunday best
The pumps go with my purple dress
But alas, my favorite pair
Will walk right over you
I guess you know, my boots kick ass
Don’t say you didn’t know.
And so goodbye, the time is right
It’s time for me to go
The next shoe trend is calling me
I’m off to look again
For the shoes that catch my eye
I fear there’ll be no end
But what the heck , I love the effect
Of all those new shoe trends!
Would anyone be interested in hiring a "Novice Carpenter" (that's my title, a novice carpenter) one that really knows how to jack up wood with my trusty hammer? My husband and I enrolled in a novice carpentry class. And such a mixture of people you've never seen!
Let's begin with Jesus pronounced Hey-seuss but who everyone calls Joe because we can't remember the pronunciation. Joe is 70 years old and from the Bronx in NYC. He was born in Puerto Rico. Joe has had a varied career. He apparently has had some "gang" experience as a youth because he often says, "I'll get you; and your mother too!" He says this is what the gangs said to each other when he was a kid. Joe joined the Air Force on the enlisted side and ended a 20 year career as a Master Sergeant. Joe's next career was as a hair stylist for 30 years. He says people with red hair and a lot of freckles have bad tempers, don't ever pull their hair! He also is a marshal arts expert and I bet in his day, was a lady's man. He's the life of the party!
Next we have Margaret. Margaret is somewhere in her late 50's. Margaret spits whenever she talks. Not that this makes her less likeable, I like Margaret. I just don't stand real close when she's talking. She doesn't talk much, but has a desire to actually do carpentry since she's worked in a carpenter’s office for 27 years. Margaret brought the right hammer to class. Everyone wanted her hammer. Margaret has a way of standing that makes her look like her knees are always bent. I never can tell if she's about to wilt, or if it's just the appearance of her pants at the knees. I think when she takes them off; they retain that perpetual bend in the knee.
Sean has piercings all over his face. He doesn't say much and I think, his mom drug him to the class. They made him run this gigantic saw last night and he really didn't want to, but was not pushy enough to say no. He is the best hammerer in the class.
Sean's mom Michelle lives in an old house that she is trying to remodel. She needs electrical help even though her husband was an electrician. Michelle says her husband didn't cotton to working with electricity around the house. Someone is going to have to tell her novice carpenters don't do electricity. I'm afraid she's still stuck without any electrical help.
Bill is a tall, lanky older man in his 60's. Bill messes with electricity, but has not offered any aid to Michelle. He has a scraggly beard and wants to know how to hang a door. He is a little afraid of that big saw I think, because he mentioned to me how powerful it was and how it jerked.
Rick is the instructor. He says his education is in music, but he grew up in the family business. He is kind of tall with quite a large belly and gets stuck on very long answers to any question. He feeds us well.
Tyson is a 23 year old carpenter. He's attended college and knows all kinds of things. I have my eye on him for my daughter.
Sean is another carpenter. He's 21. At first he was quiet, but now he talks a lot. He looks like Johnny Depp and I find myself wanting to tell him that. I have my eye on him for my daughter.
My husband wants to build a wall in the garage. He is very good at measuring and was the best measurer in class. He is not such a good hammerer or nailer, but hopefully that will come later.
Now we come to me. I am there because my husband wanted us to do something together. At least it wasn't football. (Hmmm we've already done that.) I can put almost anything together. I understand what we are doing. We are learning to frame a wall, hang a door and two windows. We will hang drywall, then mud and tape it. I understand the concepts; I just can't use the frickin hammer!
My husband hammered first. His nail fell out and he didn't hit it very hard, but he hit it. Then, he hands the hammer to me. I mean, I had to take it because all eyes were on me and I could see them thinking, "Oh, look, her husbands putting her on the spot. Will she take the hammer?" You bettcha I will! The frame is on top of this huge table and you have to hammer at a funny angle. I start the nail. I miss the nail. I hit it once or twice. I'm jacking the wood up. It's bashed with little, round hammer marks all over it. The nail is in crooked. I notice this and ask about it. Rick tells me to pull it out and shows everyone what to do when you've jacked up your nail. I can do this! I can do this! I repeat this over and over to myself. I rear the hammer back and BANG, I jack that nail up so bad it's poking out the top of the wood. I'm used again as an example of what to do when you jack up the nail and the wood. By this time, everyone is crowding in around me, encouraging me to hit that nail again saying "You're doing good." I stop and look at all the faces and say, "Have you guys gotten a good look at this jacked up piece of wood? Anyone want to hire a novice carpenter?"
Like I said, I understand the concept. I understand how to do it, but I think I'll hire a hammerer to hammer for me.
Till next time.
posted by Mines Broken @ Wednesday, November 19, 2003
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