Poem of the Day
HOME
Home is but a memory in time
ripped without consent
from my grasp
displacing me in another realm of reality
security
disavowed.
And I am left
seeking
always
seeking
congruity amidst strife.
Wondering
Do you ever wonder where you'd be or what you might be doing if you had zigged instead of zagged? In other words, taken another path instead of the one you took; or in my case, was pushed onto? Have you ever though about how the course of your life can be changed when someone else is in control?
My mother made that decision for my brother and me when I was 15 and I can honestly say it created an eternity of walking down the wrong path until I pulled myself off. I knew what I wanted to do then, before being pushed where I didn't want to go. I wanted to go to college. I wanted adventure. All my friends would be going and then boom...Mom decides we're moving from town into rural hell. I found out later the move was due to an affair my dad was having. Mom didn't want to be in the same town as the mistress so off we go, shoved onto the wrong life path; and by of all people, our mother! She couldn't know that what she did all those years ago would still be having a ripple effect in our lives now.
I'm 47. My brother's 45. Due to Mom's intervention in our life at that critical age, my brother is an alcoholic among other things and has 2 divorces under his belt. He's not a bad guy, really. One of the excuses Mom used to move us into a rural school that would have appeared normal in a third world country, was she wanted to keep us away from drugs. Humph! That's where brother acquired all his knowledge about various drugs, alcohol, etc.
I never got into that, but married at 19 and didn't begin college until 28 and 3 kids later. Around 34 after 14 years of marriage, a divorce ensued and after that, a brief time spent on welfare. So, I got my degree in Education, not because that's what I really wanted to do, but because a single mom needs baby sitters and summers off not having to pay a sitter, sounded good.
Where did my real dreams lie? In the sky, the ocean, travel in exotic cultures; adventure. How about a trip through the ancient world of Egypt or a trek into the jungle when there still was a jungle, or maybe a tromp through Africa sleeping under the stars in a tent surrounded by wildlife that may soon cease to exist. Maybe I would have been the one to find the Titanic or a king’s tomb, or the first woman to fly an F-16.
Maybe.....
HOME
Home is but a memory in time
ripped without consent
from my grasp
displacing me in another realm of reality
security
disavowed.
And I am left
seeking
always
seeking
congruity amidst strife.
Wondering
Do you ever wonder where you'd be or what you might be doing if you had zigged instead of zagged? In other words, taken another path instead of the one you took; or in my case, was pushed onto? Have you ever though about how the course of your life can be changed when someone else is in control?
My mother made that decision for my brother and me when I was 15 and I can honestly say it created an eternity of walking down the wrong path until I pulled myself off. I knew what I wanted to do then, before being pushed where I didn't want to go. I wanted to go to college. I wanted adventure. All my friends would be going and then boom...Mom decides we're moving from town into rural hell. I found out later the move was due to an affair my dad was having. Mom didn't want to be in the same town as the mistress so off we go, shoved onto the wrong life path; and by of all people, our mother! She couldn't know that what she did all those years ago would still be having a ripple effect in our lives now.
I'm 47. My brother's 45. Due to Mom's intervention in our life at that critical age, my brother is an alcoholic among other things and has 2 divorces under his belt. He's not a bad guy, really. One of the excuses Mom used to move us into a rural school that would have appeared normal in a third world country, was she wanted to keep us away from drugs. Humph! That's where brother acquired all his knowledge about various drugs, alcohol, etc.
I never got into that, but married at 19 and didn't begin college until 28 and 3 kids later. Around 34 after 14 years of marriage, a divorce ensued and after that, a brief time spent on welfare. So, I got my degree in Education, not because that's what I really wanted to do, but because a single mom needs baby sitters and summers off not having to pay a sitter, sounded good.
Where did my real dreams lie? In the sky, the ocean, travel in exotic cultures; adventure. How about a trip through the ancient world of Egypt or a trek into the jungle when there still was a jungle, or maybe a tromp through Africa sleeping under the stars in a tent surrounded by wildlife that may soon cease to exist. Maybe I would have been the one to find the Titanic or a king’s tomb, or the first woman to fly an F-16.
Maybe.....
posted by Mines Broken @ Monday, June 07, 2004
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